Monday, October 29, 2007

Time wasted so far....Could I turn back time?

Sometimes when I look back, I realized I outta have done alot of stuff that I wish I had done before.

1. Get my driving license.
2. Work harder in polytechnic.
3. Get my CCNA and MCSE certification.
4. Say stuff to somebody I wish I had said.
5. Tell my form teacher that when he said secondary friends are the best friends you can have that what he said is just judgmental.
6. Tell my maths teacher that he will forever suck in my world a 2nd time.(Though the 1st time he ended in hospital...:P)
7. Making Sunday a family day.
8. Going for self development courses and reading the books like Kevin does.

Things that I did not do but have not regretted it.
1. Getting a Sho Dan before coming to Australia. I won't be up to international standards anyway.
2. Instead of coming here to study and not back home. thus losing my girlfriend in the process.
3. Taking a security cert. Though I might want to get it for fun.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Lousy people

Some people are just not worth helping. You help the person, ends up that the person takes it for granted and she forgots all about you. This person owns me money, and yet whenever I see her, she will just nod and says she will transfer the money to my account asap, no matter how many times I have told her to just pass it to me or to her landlord.

Seemingly, she appears to own some rent to her landlord, and if I were to ask her to pass the money to him, he will know that she is just simply lagging behind on the payment. Let me tell you, what are you assuming? That if you don't pay, people will take pity on you and let you stay on, or just forget about the debt that you owe?

This doesn't happens. And when you share a place with someone, do not assume that everything is shared, including groceries. If you use something, replenish it after that and not just leave things empty.

Do think about it. I'm really starting to regret helping you in the first place. I should have just let you stay homeless on the streets after your own stupidity.

When you are feeling down

Have you ever got the feeling that when times where you are down, there is no one there for you?

I felt like that during my exams...so I prayed. There's always a special someone there waiting for you to speak to him. It's just your initiative to take in order to feel better talking to someone of your problems. Though its not a physical person, yet I do feel relieved, as if the load has just been taken off me.

I wanna change. I gotta learn to manage life on my own and not depend on others for personal happiness. If I want something, I gotta get it myself. Only then will I feel satisfied with what that has been done so far.

Else everything that has happened would be for naught.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Exam is just round the corner...

Time passes by fast when you dun expect it.

at 5pm tomorrow, I'm taking my programming 3 (Client and Server Architecture) paper...

....around 17 hours more to go. I'll reserve 6 hours before the paper for rest.

What have I left to revise?
1. Do the 2006 paper.
2. Have a final revision of my notes.
3. Pray that I pass the hurdle.

I'm actually also pretty perplexed regarding another subject that I have in this semester, the Computerized Accounting Systems module. I need 14 marks to pass, but if i can get 24 marks i'll get a credit...All because I had a high fever till the day before my class test, i wonder if I don't do well, is there a subpaper for this? I really was sick then. If its now, even if they asked me to do it on the spot, I don't believe that I wouldn't pass it...so stressed out...

Sometimes I really wonder am I cut out for the IT field. Argh!

Sometimes I really feel some friends take me for granted. But I can't blame them. After this, I'll just steer clear of them, I guess.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Pranks...pranks...

The 'famous' RK House video...


The kopitiam prank...its in Hokkien Btw...

Sunday, October 21, 2007

My Favourite 2....

Does love come with words?
===========================
Lady : Why do you like me, why do you
love me, dear?

Man :I don't know, need there be a reason to love
you?

Lady :If you can't even tell me the reason, how can
you convince me that you love me?

Man :I may not know the reason, but I can prove
that I love you.

Lady : Prove it to me? I don't want proof! If my
friend's boyfriend can tell her the reason why he
loves her, why can't you tell me?

Man :Ok Ok! I love you...

- because your voice is sweet

- because you are caring

- because you are loving

- because you are thoughtful

- because of your smile

- because of your every movement

The lady felt very satisfied with the man's answer.

Unfortunately, a few days later, the lady met with
an accident and had gone into a coma. The guy
then placed a letter by her side, which said:

Darling,

It is because of your sweet voice that I love you...

Now can you talk? No! Therefore I cannot love you.

It is because of your care and concern for me that
I love you..

Now that you cannot show them, therefore I
cannot love you.

It is because of your smile,

Now that you cannot smile, therefore I cannot love
you.

It is because of your every movement that I love
you..

Now can you move?

No, therefore I cannot love you...

If love needs a reason, like now, there is no
reason for me to love you anymore.

Does love need a reason?

NO!

Therefore, I still love you.

Why we shouldn't wait.
==============================
Daniel and Jasmine are sitting alone in the park,
one night.

Daniel:
I guess we are the left overs in this world

Jasmine:
I think so, all of my friends have boyfriends and we
are the only 2 persons left in this world without any
special person in our life

Daniel:
Yup I don't know what to do

Jasmine:
I know! We'll play a game

Daniel:
What game?

Jasmine:
i'll be your girlfriend for 30 days and you will be my
boyfriend

Daniel:
That's a great plan in fact i don't have
nothing to do much this following week...

DAY 1:

They watch their first movie and they were both
touched by a romantic film

DAY 4:

They went to the beach and had a picnic...
Daniel and Jasmine have their quality time together

DAY 12:

Daniel invited Jasmine to a circus and they ride
on a Horror House ride. Jasmine was scared and
she thought she touched Daniel's hand but she
touched someone else's hand instead and they
both laughed.

DAY 15:

They saw a fortune teller down the road and
they asked for their future advice and the fortune
teller said: "My darlings, Please don't waste
the time of your life...Spend the rest of your time
together happily" Then tears flow out from the
teller's eyes

DAY 20:

Jasmine invited Daniel to go to the hill and
they saw a meteor...Jasmine mumbled something

DAY 28:

They sat on the bus and because of a bumby road
Jasmine gave her first kiss to Daniel by accident

DAY 29:

11:37pm

Jasmine and Daniel sat in the park where they first
decided to play this game...

Daniel:
I'm tired Jasmine...Do you want anything to drink?
I'll buy you one.. I'll just go down the road

Jasmine:
Apple Juice that's all

Daniel:
Wait for me.

20mins later; a stranger approached Jasmine

Stranger:
Are you a friend of Daniel?

Jasmine:
Why yes? What happened?

Stranger:
A reckless drunken driver ran over daniel and he is
critical in the hospital

11:57pm

The doctor came out of the emergency room
and he handed out an apple juice and a letter

Doctor:
We found this in daniel's pocket

Jasmine reads the letter and it says:

Jasmine, This past few days, i realized you
are a really cute girl and i am really falling for
you.. Your cherished smile your everything when
we played this game; before this game would end. I
would like you to be my girlfriend for the rest of my
life. I love you Jasmine.

Jasmine crumples the paper and shouted:

"Daniel ! i don't want you to die. I love you,
Remember that night when we saw ameteor, I
mumbled something; I mumbled that I wish we
would be together forever and never end this game.
Please don't leave me Daniel. I love you! You
cannot do this to me"

Then the clock strikes 12...

Daniel's heart stoped pumping

THEN IT WAS THE 30TH DAY;

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Disliking waiting for the right time to say...

There's something about me, I used to dilly-dally and take my own sweet time thinking of how I should ask someone to be with me, planning what should be done and all that, And once the plan was set. It will be too late.

It's not a technique or something like that. Its just a mentality i adopted after so many failed attempts due to waiting for the right moment.

"Cindy should be able to understand this." It's not a declaration of love hint.

Now some lovely stuff to share with you guys..:

A Hug
--------------------------------
There's something in a simple hug
That always warms the heart;
It welcomes us back home
And makes it easier to part.
A hug's a way to share the joy
And sad times we go through,
Or just a way for friends to say
They like you 'cause you're you.
Hugs are meant for anyone
For whom we really care,
From your grandma to your neighbour,
Or a cuddly teddy bear.
A hug is an amazing thing -
It's just the perfect way
To show the love we're feeling
But can't find the words to say.
It's funny how a little hug
Makes everyone feel good;
In every place and language,
It's always understood.
And hugs don't need new equipment,
Special batteries or parts -
Just open up your arms
And open up your hearts.

Deep Love?
-----------------------
From the very begining, the girl's family objected strongly on her dating this guy. Saying that it has got to do with family background,& that the girl will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him.
Due to family's pressure, the couple quarrel very often. Though the girl love the guy deeply, but she always ask him: "How deep is your love for me?"

As the guy is not good with his words, this often cause the girl to be very upset. With that & the family's pressure, the girl often vent her anger on him. As for him, he only endure it in silence.

After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further his studies in overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the girl: "I'm not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?"

The girl agreed, & with the guy's determination, the family finally gave in & agreed to let them get married. So before he leave, they got engaged.

The girl went out to the working society, whereas the guy was overseas, continuing his studies. They sent their love through emails & phone calls. Though it's hard, but both never thought of giving up.
One day, while the girl was on her way to work, she was knocked down by a car that lost control. When she woke up, she saw her parents beside her bed. She realised that she was badly injured. Seeing her mum crying, she wanted to comfort her. But she realized that all that could come out of her mouth was just a sigh. She has lost her voice......

The doctors says that the impact on her brain has caused her to lose her voice. Listening to her parents' comfort, but with nothing coming out from her, she broke down.

During the stay in hospital, besides silence cry,.....it's still just silence cry that companied her. Upon reaching home, everything seems to be the same. Except for the ringing tone of the phone. Which pierced into her heart everytime it rang. She does not wish to let the guy know. & not wanting to be a burden to him, she wrote a letter to him saying that she does not wish to wait any longer.

With that, she sent the ring back to him. In return, the guy sent millions & millions of reply, and countless of phonecalls,.. all the girl could do, besides crying, is still crying....

The parents decided to move away, hoping that she could eventually forget everything & be happy.

With a new environment, the girl learn sign language & started a new life. Telling herself everyday that she must forget the guy. One day, her friend came & told her that he's back. She asked her friend not to let him know what happened to her. Since then, there wasn't anymore news of him.

A year has passed & her friend came with an envelope, containing an invitation card for the guy's wedding. The girl was shattered. When she open the letter, she saw her name in it instead.

When she was about to ask her friend what's going on, she saw the guy standing in front of her. He used sign language telling her "I've spent a year's time to learn sign language. Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise. Let me have the chance to be your voice. I Love You. With that, he slipped the ring back into her finger. The girl finally smiled.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Another song.

This song by Eminem is really impressive. - MockingBird



[Intro- Spoken:]
Yeah
I know sometimes things may not always make sense to you right now
But hey, what daddy always tell you?
Straighten up little soldier
Stiffen up that upper lip
What you crying about?
You got me

[Verse 1:]
Hailie, I know you miss your mom and I know you miss your dad
Well I'm gone but I'm trying to give you the life that I never had
I can see you're sad, even when you smile, even when you laugh
I can see it in your eyes, deep inside you want to cry
Cuz you're scared, I ain't there
Daddy's with you in your prayers
No more crying, wipe them tears
Daddy's here, no more nightmares
We gon' pull together through it, we gon' do it
Laney, uncle's crazy, aint he?
Yeah but he loves you girl and you better know it
We're all we got in this world
When it spins, when it swirls
When it whirls, when it twirls
Two little beautiful girls
Lookin' puzzled, in a daze
I know it's confusing you
Daddy's always on the move, mamma's always on the news
I try to keep you sheltered from it but somehow it seems
The harder that I try to do that, the more it backfires on me
All the things growing up his daddy that he had to see
Daddy don't want you to see but you see just as much as he did
We did not plan it to be this way, your mother and me
But things have gotten so bad between us
I don't see us ever being together ever again
Like we used to be when we was teenagers
But then of course everything always happens for a reason
I guess it was never meant to be
But it's just something we have no control over and that's what destiny is
But no more worries, rest your head and go to sleep
Maybe one day we'll wake up and this will all just be a dream

[Chorus:]
Now hush little baby, don't you cry
Everything's gonna be alright
Stiffen that upper lip up little lady,
I told ya Daddy's here to hold ya through the night
I know mommy's not here right now and we don't know why
We feel how we feel inside
It may seem a little crazy, pretty baby
But I promise momma's gon' be alright

[Verse 2:]
It's funny
I remember back one year when daddy had no money
Mommy wrapped the Christmas presents up
And stuck 'em under the tree and said some of 'em were from me
Cuz daddy couldn't buy 'em
I'll never forget that Christmas I sat up the whole night crying
Cuz daddy felt like a bum, see daddy had a job
But his job was to keep the food on the table for you and mom
And at the time every house that we lived in
Either kept getting broken into and robbed
Or shot up on the block
And your mom was saving money for you in a jar
Tryna start a piggy bank for you so you could go to college
Almost had a thousand dollars till someone broke in and stole it
And I know it hurt so bad it broke your momma's heart
And it seemed like everything was just startin' to fall apart
Mom and dad was arguin' a lot so momma moved back
On the Chalmers in the flat one bedroom apartment
And dad moved back to the other side of 8 Mile on Novara
And that's when daddy went to California with his CD and met Dr. Dre
And flew you and momma out to see me
But daddy had to work, you and momma had to leave me
Then you started seeing daddy on the T.V. and momma didn't like it
And you and Laney were to young to understand it
Papa was a rollin' stone, momma developed a habit
And it all happened too fast for either one of us to grab it
I'm just sorry you were there and had to witness it first hand
Cuz all I ever wanted to do was just make you proud
Now I'm sittin in this empty house, just reminiscing
Lookin' at your baby pictures, it just trips me out
To see how much you both have grown, it's almost like you're sisters now
Wow, guess you pretty much are and daddy's still here
Laney I'm talkin' to you too, daddy's still here
I like the sound of that, yeah
It's got a ring to it don't it?
Shh, momma's only gone for the moment

[Chorus]

[Verse 3:]
And if you ask me too
Daddy's gonna buy you a mockingbird
I'mma give you the world
I'mma buy a diamond ring for you
I'mma sing for you
I'll do anything for you to see you smile
And if that mockingbird don't sing and that ring don't shine
I'mma break that birdie's neck
I'd go back to the jewler who sold it to ya
And make him eat every carat don't fuck with dad (haha)

In the End

A year has passed. (almost.)

So fast. Just wanted to write something here.

I really love the time spent here and the friends made. Some old friends come and go after awhile, and its not my loss for them to be outta my life.

I made a few new friends as an exchange, you lose some, you get some.

One group of friends that I really appreciated alot were the the guys in my course, Muy Lip, Danny and Kevin. These guys really were the nicest bunch of friends I met here. Helped me alot with my work and whenever I was feeling down, they would be around to advise me. Kevin helped me alot as well, lending me his self-help books that really helped me change my perspective of life.

Thank you my friends.

Another group of friends were the dudes from SSA. Since I joined them with Kevin, I found that they were really a nice bunch. This group had its up and downs, but I guess we pulled through in the end. I had lots of fun organizing activities with them, and it helped me to see others in a better light. I got to make alot of friends of various nationalities. Also, when we got into teams to do work, I got to know how to draw the line between work and friends, gaining more knowledge slowly in life. I got to know who could be trusted with responsibility, and whom were contributing as a commitment, not because they had to.

Oh well, JOIN SSA!

What can I say for others coming overseas to study? My opinion would be not to put all your eggs in the same basket. Keep your options open and make more friends from various cliques. Find the group that most suits you, and stick with them through thick and thin. Cuz you never know which would turn out to be a bad egg and backstab you in some funny way just for his/her own gain and interest.

The study life in Australia may need some time to get used to. You need to adjust to the various short form words the lecturers use, the other nationalities in class. I must say I did encounter color differentiation in class, not from the tutors of course, but more from the classmates.

When you are here for awhile, you might realize that there's the common misconception that when you are Asian or Chinese, you are from China, you are from a run down country, you took a boat here... etc...thats often the misconceptions of the frogs living in their own well. What to do? for those who mind, just take it with a pinch of salt, its not our loss, its theirs. Who loses face when they say all this? not us.




(It starts with)
One thing / I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It’s so unreal
Didn’t look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on / but didn’t even know
Wasted it all just to
Watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart
What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
One thing / I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I’m surprised it got so (far)
Things aren’t the way they were before
You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end
You kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart
What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Some things on my mind...

So many things happened recently, that I feel so troubled on.


Was talking to Kai yesterday about being able to provide happiness for someone you like. He stated that since it was impossible to do if one was terminally ill or some personal reasons was part of it, he should let go of the person, since he would not be able to provide happiness for the person that he liked.

Asked Kevin on his opinion, n he said that he would rather spent time with his family and close friends.


But then in the end, it just boils down to one simple question.

What should I do?

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Seeing my world in red.

This few days are really red...not red with anger lor....but more to seeing blood everyday. Wake up from sleep. See blood, do work halfway, see blood, eat halfway, see blood.


In short. See until SIAN. See until I cannot take it anymore. Why does my nose keep bleeding? since last year till now. Almost every freaking day.


Heh...see too much girls ar? Yah right.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Sorry.

I heard this song on the MTV here. (I guess this is the only channel I watch besides CSI-type movies.)

Sorry- Blame it on Me.



This song is really meaningful. It really expresses how I feel about the past, present and future.

As life goes on I'm starting to learn more and more about responsibility
And I realize that everything I do is affecting the people around me
So I want to take this time out to apologize for things that
I've done things that haven't occurred yet
and things that they don't want to take responsibility for

I'm sorry for the times that I left you home
I was on the road and you were alone
I'm sorry for the times that I had to go
I'm sorry for the fact that I did not know

That you were sitting home just wishing we
Could go back to when it was just you and me
I'm sorry for the times I would neglect
I'm sorry for the times I disrespect

I'm sorry for the wrong things that I've done
I'm sorry I'm not always there for my sons
I'm sorry for the fact that I'm not aware
That you can't sleep at night when I am not there

Because I'm in the streets like everyday
I'm sorry for the things that I did not say
Like how you are the best thing in my world
And how I'm so proud to call you my girl

I understand that there's some problems
And I'm not too blind to know
All the pain you kept inside you
Even though you might not show

If I can't apologize for being wrong
Then it's just a shame on me
I'll be the reason for your pain
And you can put the blame on me


You can put the blame on me

Said you can put the blame on me
Said you can put the blame on me
Said you can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me

I'm sorry for the things that he put you through
And all the times you didn't know what to do
I'm sorry that you had to go and sell those bags
Just trying to stay busy until you heard from dad

When you would rather be home with all your kids
As one big family with love and bliss
And even though pops treated us like kings
He got a second wife and you didn't agree

He got up and left you there all alone
I'm sorry that you had to do it on your own
I'm sorry that I went and added to your grief
I'm sorry that your son was once a thief

I'm sorry that I grew up way to fast
I wish I would of listened and not be so bad
I'm sorry that your life turned out this way
I'm sorry that the feds came and took me away

I understand that there's some problems
And I'm not too blind to know
All the pain you kept inside you
Even though you might not show

If I can't apologize for being wrong
Then it's just a shame on me
I’ll be the reason for your pain
And you can put the blame on me

You can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me

Said you can put the blame on me
Said you can put the blame on me
Said you can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me

I'm sorry that it took so long to see
But they were dead wrong trying to put it on me
I'm sorry that it took so long to speak
But I was on tour with Gwen Stefani

I'm sorry for the hand that she was dealt
And for the embarrassment that she felt
She's just a little young girl trying to have fun
But daddy should of never let her out that young

I'm sorry for Club Zen getting shut down
I hope they manage better next time around
How was I to know she was underage
In a 21 and older club they say

Why doesn't anybody want to take blame
Verizon backed out disgracing my name
I'm just a singer trying to entertain
Because I love my fans I'll take that blame

Even though the blame's on you
Even though the blame's on you
Even though the blame's on you
I'll take that blame from you

And you can put that blame on me
And you can put that blame on me
You can put that blame on me
You can put that blame on me

And you can put that blame on me

And you can put that blame on me

=P

Monday, October 01, 2007

Cut out from the memory...

Being taking alot of pictures so far. Realized that for alot of the happy events, I'm there physically, but not in the memory. No one really bothers to include me in the pictures right? Not sure how to solve this issue either.

I've found the motivation for keeping fit after so long. And yes. Its the joker who wrote on my "Things to Do" list -"but failed badly =P" I will become fit, see what you can say.