Memories Flood.

Ever wonder what happens when the body falls asleep, but your sub-consciousness is still awake?

I don't really know whether its true, but then sometimes, when I lie on the bed, dreaming to sleep, ends up when I close my eyes, I see my memories flooding back again.

I remembered the time, the exact feeling when I first held a special girl's hand while crossing the road to send her home, though unintentionally, but the feeling got captured in my memories. That feeling of being special, holding someone's hand as though if you let go, you are not going to see her again.

I remembered the time, the feeling when I confessed to her how much I liked her that time and was about to tell her but i was late, on the phone. Though she was already attached, she told me she really liked me then. The disappointment and shock caused me to become withdrawn, as if a spell was cast to encase my heart in ice. That was the time when my world seem so frozen, as if a blizzard had just passed and frozen everything in my heart. I remembered for the next 5 years, no one ever was able to be there in my heart, cos the only memory I had was her.

I just walked away 5 years of my life, waiting for time to turn back. Which it never did.

Time passed. And the month before I left to come to this 4 seasons a day place, we met us for lunch with a close friends, took so many pictures again. Felt it was just like the old times. But alas, the night ended. We took the cab home, she asked me whether I still kept her picture in my wallet, I sub-consciously nodded. She gave me a photo frame with a handwritten note inside. Then she told me that while I'm there, if I find another girl, go for her, and replace the note with her picture. So I just said I might just meet someone exactly like her.

My heart moans as I write these words.

School started, met new friends, at the SSA dinner buffet, saw this girl that Kelvin introduced. Really shocked. A striking resemblance. Though not alike, the feeling was similar. But I knew deep down, my heart was still frozen, and she could never replace her. Well, just treat her really well, but as a younger sis would do. No more than that.

I open my eyes just, my eyes rest on the empty photo frame she gave me. I look longingly at it, then I realized. She had given me the key to unlock my cursed frozen heart. When I think of the photo frame, I can see her smiling face and dovey eyes yet again. But now its no longer a still picture, I can feel her warmth and her waving to me there.

I smile. And say to myself.. The key has already been given to me, and the door is already open for me to take my 1st step out...

I stepped out, the fires in my dark loneness has re-ignited.