Sardines - Made in Singapore.

I'm not talking about the ayam brand that is so popular in all the major groceries stores. I'm talking about the one that is produced by SMRT. During every single rush hour period there is, every singaporean squeezes into the carriages in their mad rush to get home and can be compared to the cluster-fucked sardines in a tin can.

Back in Australia, there are frequent complaints on the quality of the train runs and schedules, where there is a breakdown and nothing come to the aid of the aussies stranded until pretty much later. Its always "Boycott Connex" and similar stuff like that.

In Singapore, I don't think we have this problem. The staff trains are pretty much the most efficient in all that I've seen. Kudos to the SMRT for their efficiency on such grounds. However, once the ugly Singaporean mentality is added into the recipe, the brew changes to one that beats the crap outta the sardines of the ayam brand.

The adults, oldies and kids alike are squeezed all the way in. There isn't even enough handles for people to hang on for dear life when our beloved train driver speeds into the underground tunnel. Women flick their head left and right, checking out for perverts who might be out to get a piece of them, or rather, their butts, to be precise. But what of the innocent male behind them? who, owning to the squeeze of the 'sardines' together with the incessasant flicking of hair like some dumb shampoo commercial of the 80s, result in them tripping and stepping on the poor kids who are dragged into the SMRT tin by their parents.

Weeks pass and alas..

Yay...my Internet connection is finally up! but no thanks to the snotty work done by the contractor. This is the first time I have seen so many design flaws in a designer's perspective. Though I must admit Desmond's work is rather arty, but the quality is somewhat much to be desired.

Experiences in Australia somewhat left me thinking. What has changed since I got back?
1. I forgot how to take the bus...no Serious! I took too much trams.
2. I learn a lot about foodie appreciation.
3. I learn to judge stuff based on their quality.
4. I learn not to look at people from the first impression.
5. I learn how to properly utilize people in my work group.
6. I learn that advertisements don't just belong to the bin.
7. I grew sick of beef and pasta.
8. I grew to love wine and fine dining.
9. I learn not to count ISO into services standards as it is non-existent.
10. Singaporeans out to be thankful. OMG.

Feeling like a "Stranger" in your home

After just having reached Singapore, I'm beginning to feel 2 ways. One, either I have missed too much of the life in Singapore so much that I have forgotten what its like to be a Singaporean. Two, life in Melbourne is so nice for me, that somehow although I love Singapore, I pretty much yearn to be back in Melbourne.

So what have I become?

Not that I really know, but things have changed so much. I got into my new place and found myself all alone. Everyone has their own lives to lead with their studies and girlfriends, that I have felt that I'm pretty much alone in my life on this Earth. Nope, I no longer feel the pang of jealousy at a passing couple, but yet, I'm now on the edge of finding a meaningless void in life.

Also, the wait is over. Not there has been a success, but more to its time to move on with my life, since I have been living for myself, obvilious of the time that has passed. I'm already close to reaching 24, yet it seems that my siblings are already happy with their other half. Could it be that my requirements/standards are way too high? or is love in my life just a passing like my memories?

Hullo Singapore, Miss Melbourne

Well, I just touched down around close to 3 days already.

I felt so awkward when I reached the airport, the feeling was like I was going to another foreign country. And not to the one that I grew up in. I saw my parents for the 1st time in one year, but yet I felt so empty. The feeling of emptiness was brought back together with the luggage.

I gave my parents a hug. Hoping that when I reached home, things would not change with time as it was often said. Not long after I reached my bed, my mom came in and started nagging at every thing she saw. Congratulations mom, you always win the record in spoiling my mood whenever I see you again. And what would be your next combo? It would be to nag more n more n more n more n more.

Damn, I really felt like going back Melbourne after the first night. I'm close to going nuts. I saw my new place, and realize that my room looks like a pet shop window. I better get some curtains or something like that. I would just be inviting stupid comments from stupid aunts trying to be funny and start acting like the fucking idiots they are. Really curtains are a necessity in the stupid design. I really feel like boarding up the stupid window.

Anyway. Here's the photos I took during the 20th Anniversary.

Melbourne's gonna be missed.

A surprise in the mist.

Just took my supplementary paper on the 18th of February. Thought it was quite an okay paper and really hoped that I would pass.


A few days ago, I switched on my notebook to try checking the results, with dread in my heart. I'm never good in my exams, and neither was I any better in my programming skills. I would have to buck up.

Well, onwards I typed, and I saw an 'SP' replacing the 'RW' on my Programming 3 course. Wah. What was SP? Turns out that I passed!!!

Oh yeah, time to carry on with life. I was so happy that I shouted for joy. Finally I can go home. Months of missing out the Singapore life was coming to an end. Went to school to find out what was the next step to graduation. :P Got a handshake from Dale. Not really worth mentioning actually, considering that he almost got me extending my program over another semester. :(

Time to go back and enjoy the food. hehe.

Listening to oldies now.

I remembered when I was a kid, I use to hear lotsa English oldies on the radio, and sometimes my dad would sing this particular song, 500 miles to me almost every night before sleeping.

I really love hearing my dad sing that song, his voice really sounded really soothing. And so that song became my childhood song.

If you missed the train I'm on
You will know that I am gone
You can hear the whistle blow a hundred miles
A hundred miles, a hundred miles,
A hundred miles, a hundred miles
You can hear the whistle blow a hundred miles
Not a shirt on my back
Not a penny to my name
And the land that I once loved is not my own
Lord I'm one, Lord I'm two,
Lord I'm three, Lord I'm four
Lord I'm five hundred miles away from home

A hundred tanks along the square
One man stands and stops them there
Someday soon the tide'll turn and I'll be free
I'll be free, I'll be free
I'll come home to my country
Someday soon the tide'll turn and I'll be free

If you missed the train I'm on
You will know that I am gone
You can hear the whistle blow a hundred miles
Lord I'm one, Lord I'm two,
Lord I'm three, Lord I'm four
Lord I'm five hundred miles away from home...
Lord I'm five hundred miles away from home...

I'll be free, I'll be free
I'll come home to my country
Lord I'm five hundred miles away from home

You can hear the whistle blow five hundred miles.

Just listening to the various songs really bring back good memories.

So these are my favourite.
1. Rhythm of the Falling Rain
2. Tom Dooley
3. 500 Miles
4. Sixteen Tons
5. Stand By Me
6. Save the Last Dance For Me
7. Tennessee Waltz
8. Tell Laura I Love Her
9. Corrina Corrina
10. The End of the World

Exam blues over - for now.

Can't really use the Internet back home in Aunt Jennifer's place due to bandwidth constraints. So here I'm in school updating my blog.

Exams are finally over, time to get on with life and start sending out resumes. Some may ask why I have yet to send any resumes so far, but I didn't want to do a fool's job of applying for a unqualified job.

So what should I do when I get back home..?

1. Firstly I miss my family. Especially my siblings.
2. My parents as well.
3. Then I shall go meet some of my friends, those who are still free at this time of the year.
4. Time to move house as well. Better get the change of address from my dad so I can update it into my resume.
5. EAT!!!
6. Walk around Singapore and see what has changed so far.

Well, time to get a haircut. Realized long hair won't suit me when I start working and that yeah, I dislike my hair becoming thick. And I had such a sweet dream. hehe.

Fond memories of the past : Closure?

Was sleeping over at Kai's place on Friday, when I had this dream of past fond memories.

Dreamt of the moments I spend with Jori. I remember smiling in my dream of how lucky I was to have such a caring girlfriend, how she baked a pizza for me, though I said it was normal, but deep down, I really appreciated her effort and moments of how we shared somewhat of some happy moments together.

I recalled blaming myself for not being able to send her home after our dates due to army commitments. I remember how one of her retard friends who kept spoiling the mood among us with his non-stop irritating persistence in planning for your future. I really loved her then, despite all the misgivings I heard from friends and how I should go for someone better, since we were both very different. Went through the tests that you put on me grudgingly, knowing full well the intentions. I hated that.

I felt sorry for the stupid jokes I cracked on you. I knew you would feel hurt, yet I didn't understand why did I did that. I have just myself to blame for changing the light you viewed me as. Somehow or rather, I seem to love seeing your sulky face then, but two days ago, all I could remember was your smile and laughter and couldn't sleep while reliving the times. Always thought about how irritating that song book on the table was.

I reminisced about how you found the SNAG magazine in my bag, and commented that such magazines brought about naughty thoughts. But why, would I fantasize about the women in the mag with you by my side..? It was not to be, since you were always smiling while we were out. Loved pinching your cheeks then. Sorry that sometimes I pinched too hard.

I thought back of the times that I sent you home on the train, with you dozing by my side and those two funny aunties who kept smiling at us. Didn't think you knew about it. Remembering those sweet times.

Thought about the final SMS that didn't sound like you. Thought about the final email that you sent. I really wanted to give you a proper reply then, but decided to stone thy heart as its often said. And yet, your are still somewhere there around my thoughts.

As I sat in the plane, leaving my past behind on that fateful day, I thought of you, wondering would there be any changes when I'm gone and back. Yeah, from what I last knew, you were happily attached. Congrats and hope life is still ongoing for you.

Alas. a year and half plus has passed since I shut down the old blog of my memories and yea, while sitting in the meadows with the Aussie cows in the secluded countryside, looking at the bright passing clouds in the bright blue skies through the visible shade of my hat, something triggered in my head that registered clearly, silently, with a hollowing via my heart.

Its February and I miss you.

First day in Mount Dandedong.

I arrived at Aunt Jennifer's place around 7 yesterday, owning to a walk down the wrong path. And yes, I realized a few things.

1. Gas need to really run for awhile before it starts moving.
2. The cows are rather far away.
3. The pilot light is finally on.
4. Its really cold here.
5. The bus does run on Saturdays, so I guess I'm just left Sundays.
6. Weather looks hot enough to get a tan.

Nice Skies huh?


So what did I eat for dinner yesterday? : Beef and Mushroom flavoured rice.

No doubt this was from a packet, but I guess one might need a certain amount of skill to get the measurements right. Its my 3rd try, and finally, success!

The End Product


Walking Down


Finally, the pictures taken during the trip to the Melbourne Aquarium are out.

Last day @ Global House

Today is the last day that I'm putting up in my place in Carlton, after today, I would be moving to Aunt Jennifer's place in Dandedong.


Sounds like I'm going to live in seclusion and become a hermit. Haha.

Here's what I might concentrate on there:
1. Studying(IMPT!)
2. Running/Jogging/Cycling around the place.
3. Practice Aikido at Belgrave Station.
4. Getting a prefect tan.
5. Try to get the job at Red Roosters. ;P Better pay, nearer to home.
6. Improve on my culinary skills.
7. Explore the place.

Just wanna highlight, THERE'S A LOT OF COWS AROUND MY PLACE!!!

I should be updating my blog with new pics soon. So stick around.

Life with an uncluttered mind.

Focus.

This is just one thing I lack. I'm never able to focus on something for long, not sure why. Focus on your studies, regime and work. Pray on. I'm just 1 step to a new paper in my portfolio. Just 50 marks.

Loss of Mind.
Have you ever just before sleeping? Starting to see images of people you have no recollection of ever before met in your life. I've no idea where these images come from. And funny thing is, this always happened just before I fall asleep, and when I put my body to rest first. My eyes are closed, but I see images of people floating around, and I could see the happiness in them. This used to happen in Singapore, but now I'm seeing a lot more non-Asians. Who are they? ?_0 Am I losing my mind from being alone for too long..?

I've changed my taste in music. No more Techno/Trance for me anymore. Not that I dislike it, but life isn't moving really fast right now. I need something peaceful to stop the image rush in me. Thinking of getting that hat I saw at Ripcurl House. Fits my head. I've just moved to Dandedong, all my luggage that is. Currently still staying in the city, with just bare necessities within my reach.

I just watched The Biggest Loser on TV. Really inspirational, or motivation, as Joy calls it. Plus So You Think You Can Dance?, really liked these two shows. The dancers well, they were really fit. I'm not looking to be as fit as a bodybuilder, just a bod good enough for me to train martial arts with ease and minus the extra fats around would be good. A sculptured and toned front and back would be the best. Hehz. A six pack? Nah. Just an option not a requirement.

If only I could. Then I'll laugh in someone else's face and call her FATTY. Maybe I might.

I'm waiting. Judith and Daniel....come back. I'm missing you both. ;P

Gazing into the Melbournian night skies. : Changes.

Somewhat of a lonely moment right now.

Kai and Amy just arrived yesterday. For those who do not know. Kai is my neighbor, and Amy is his girlfriend and also my secondary school classmate.

I realized that I have changed since I came to Melbourne. Things that I like has begone and changed. My habits have changed, my view of life and the other half has been modified. My life goals have also took to a twisting road. My tastes in fashion and style have changed and my tone and reasons for conversations have been updated.

I no longer bear a liking for cute, round eyed, and sweet-sounding women. After some reflection, I thought I should look around and take a single walk down the boulevard, since there's other things to look around at. So what kind of women do I prefer now?

1. She doesn't necessary have to be Singaporean. Just no Indians or Malays.
2. She has to be matured and know how to think long term, instead of making decisions based on short term benefits.
3. Think of others first, but spare a thought for herself on sensible matters.
4. Suited to my whines. Heh.
5. Satisfy me? Not physically, just be that girl that I'm looking for.
6. Looks? well, it matters. Still an option up to me. And of course, based on that, she's free to judge me.

I used to love taking in the sights, but was too financially unsound to own something on my own. In the end, I got a idiot-proof camera after saving a long time for it, and decided that the human brain doesn't have enough space to store the lovely sights of the world. Just taking into mind the glancing of a beautiful women is enough to make the male system hang. Used to love taking people in pictures.
But now:
1. People just outta stay out of pictures. The world looks fine without humans.
2. I'm in love with cute animals and pretty flowers!
3. I just adore the sunset and open skies shots!
4. If people want to stay in my shots, don't pose for me k?
5. Something that hasn't changed, I still hate being in the picture of my own camera. =P

Fashion sense? I used to love clothes with black, white or gray. I didn't like bright colors, thought that they had no place in my life to begin with. Now, the colors in my life are brighter, and coupled with the fashion display in Melbourne, I've reached another level. ;P
1. Noir clothes for me please.
2. I love flowery and tribal designs!
3. Something about 'opposites' suits me fine and nice.
4. Heh. a certain style suits me now. Experiment experiments.
;)

Found it!

The exam schedule is out. So that means no more running around the place having fun being the priority. Time to study harder and go home in peace.

Programming 3
18 Feb 08
5.45pm- 9.00pm

I saw the pre-designs of my room and really liked it. Cindy said that it was really nice....


First Look.


Second Look.

I'm thinking of adding a fridge inside. Wonder what will my parents say? Haha. And a bean bag. I've always wanted to have a bean bag in my room. A tv inside would be rare. Considering that I can't find any place for a tv to exist inside the room. I thought of the wall furnishing that I'm going to get. Hehe.

I got this korean music video: Kiss- Because I'm a Girl. Really touching.


I personally don't like Paris Hilton much, but I must admit, this song is really catchy. =P

Chomp...Chomp. Singapura?!

Just started my first day of work @ the Singapore Chom Chom at Bourke Street.

Kinda like the game Diner Dash.

Friends familiar with the game will understand what I mean. =P

Now its Terence turn to start leaving for Singapore. Hope I can see them when I get back home. I should revise my Java on a daily basis, and hopefully finish at least half of it before the examination date is out on the 18th. Then I'll start revising for the practical parts after I know the codes. If it can be done, I shall go look for Charles to discuss with him, since I find that he's a really helpful lecturer compared to Dale.

Also, my OUA issue is in the midst of getting settled. Waiting for their staff to get back to me on the issue. Then I'll be able to transfer my credit over to my degree and presto! additional 12 points and another 12 points more to graduation. It seems that the next graduation will either be onshore in December 2008, or September 2008 in Singapore for the offshore graduation. Think I should opt for the offshore one, at least my friends and parents would be able to make it for me.

Then, on with life. I've learnt that just depending on your education to bring u riches is just plain bullshit and its a no no for the average joe.

A searing hit of 41.

Melbourne's temperature's hit 41 today, and now in the night its 27. Guess my body couldn't adapt to the sudden change and fell sick.

Coughed out some blood, and ate some antibodies. The sick me. I used to be really frail as a kid, needing the use of various medicines to keep myself alive. Ginseng, steroids, you name it, should be there.

Its so difficult to find a job in Melbourne. Nor to mention if it is a high-paying or moderate one in all. And Dale has yet to reply. The Ultimate in RMIT inefficiency. Well, Actually, it does not go to him. Ron should be the one to receive the award.


Pictures taken in Mt Dandedong.

Tears in my Eyes?

Went to see Yu Zhen off at the airport, she should have arrived in Singapore by now, I guess. Another one of the list, before the countdown hits me as the last to go back.

When was the last time I really cried for someone honestly...? I guess I can't remember anymore, the last time should be somewhere in secondary school, and a bit of feelings when my grandfather passed away.

But what can I say? most of the time I feel I'm more suited to doing things devoid of feelings. Its not that I'm a cold-hearted inhuman creature, but just that the in the place where the feeling is supposed to be, its just emptiness. Whatever happened to me in my childhood? Well, I don't wish to talk about it.

But the impact it brought on me, rather bad, I began to see people as empty husks of flesh containing souls. I never really spared a second thought of playing with their emotions if I got the chance, and seriously, everyday was just a new experiment to me and the people around were just like lab rats for me to do research on and see their reactions. Slowly, I started to realized that this wasn't the method for making friends, but sometimes, reverting back to the old me does indeed make me happier, even for a while.

I admit being in the center of the thin black line is really lonely. But it does have its pros. I used to often think why some people talk to their stuffed toys. But I realize my folly, since I'm no better by imagining my own world everyday. However, yeah, this imagination does help me to sleep, help me to stay happy and feeling contented with life. It did have its cons as well, I thought of things too much. Up to the point, whenever I closed my eyes, horribly mangled images and carnage that were so bizarre that I couldn't understand how it would happened in front of my closed eyes. And that is where I found my true fear. I got to the point that I saw the images whenever I closed my eyes. I saw faces of agony on the walls and the movement of the ground in a strange fashion. Then I found out how I could remove them by listening to music. Not just any, but music where I could get the beat into my mind, and focus on it.

Then along came aikido and photography. My two current loves. Two precious things in my life to put my heart and soul into. Contrary to what some others think, currently, looking for a girlfriend or someone to go out with me isn't exactly the top priority in my life, since kinda after the last relationship, I'm still cold and choked after it.

Going back

Everyone is going back to their respective countries in a few days time. Jerome is going back on Monday, Ms. Neo is going back on Wednesday...

Why? I should stop feeling dejected on these issues.

I went to Dandedong with Yu Zhen, Cher, Xinyi and Fong Fei. Had a really nice time taking pictures there. Went on the Olinda Falls trail and brought them to try out the various standards of scones that are around the mountain. Brought them to the observatory on the top of the mountain and yeah, I finally managed to see Melbourne City from there. Birds were one of the highlights too, except that Cher was fearful of moving creatures and Yu Zhen too.


Getting sick again from all the worrying once again. Java has always been my weak point. I really hope that i can get 50 pts to just grad off. Really really wish that this will happen. Depression has set in and I'm trying to get my moods up. What can I do? Praying again should help. My mind is in a turmoil now.

Books to finish reading?
Yeah quite alot. I'm trying to finish "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" as I write. Then to read the body language book again to freshen up. I decided to put the pick-up artist guide on hold first, since its not really the most important book that I have in mind currently.

Blog Rating.

Looking for x ray tech schools?

I woke up with an empty heart.

I woke up with a empty heart. Why so? I don't know. 2008, a new year. Life path has changed.

1st probable path: If I did well with my paper, I probably would have woken up in my room, among my Gundam models and martial arts weapons and dojo signage. I would have started my application to look for a job. Get a secure job, work hard and get a family and live the norm of the middle-class Singaporean life. I would probably have been able to go for the Aikido seminar. I would have went back to the Aikido class in Siglap, catch up with all my old friends, went back to the Aikido class in Bedok and Kembangan. I would have probably met up around town with the mates like Sebastian, Desmond, Ryan.

2nd path: I failed a module. And I have that habit to talk about it and this is my blog. Do not criticize me based on your standards. To me, you have basically just fucked yourself out of my life. Believing others that I wrote about you watching porn in your room without checking out the truth is to me, just a sure assurance of your naivety. Spreading shit nonsense of me just to get yourself in the light has also proved to me what a bullshit ass you are.

("Anyway. Writing life like this is just to get some funny rating on my blog. Just make light of it if you can't take it, please. Mr Guo An, I'll highlight this explicitly." Since the English syllabus of your name referred to so many of my other friends as well.)

Well, on to the real thing. Changes to my path. I got a new insight on life in living with Uncle Albert and Aunt Jennifer for a life. Working hard in a safe secure job is just not the way. Get a proper goal, Having basic accounting knowledge helps too. Knowing your assets, liabilities, income and expense pools help much more in detail. I got to know new friends, old friends better and improved links among existing friends. I got to know Zee prefers watching people play games, got to know Cher, Fongfei, Jiawei, Xiaowei, Xinyi, Lijie. Groups of people from Myra's clique. Strangely, I found that Lijie looks alot like my first girlfriend. =P

I got to know Chandra, one of Jerome and Terence's friends. Cute guy with a unique charm. Woah. Got to know others like Rona, Jiajia, Rinnie, Risa, Ooi Min, Cynthia, Lex and er...the Ikan Billis Girl, I didn't get her name. Haha. Spent New Year Eve on the Yarra River with them and watched the spectacular fireworks on a hot night of 41 degrees.

Happy New Year!!


Post-Christmas Sale


Merry Christmas

New Year Resolutions.

Time Flies by so fast.

Soon, I'll complete my degree. Then where is my path headed?

No one knows. Life is set by the path chosen by God.

The new year resolution listing is back again.
1. Improve my financial standing and education.
2. Pay back my debts to my parents before hitting 32.
3. If I can, start a business with Kenny and Mr Fok.
4. Further improve my skills in photo-taking.
5. Further improve my friendships with others.

Changes so far.

Over here, I learn that I shouldn't be living telling myself that I will not be able to afford things. Instead of saying, "I can't do it", I should ask myself, "How can I do it?"

I'll continue this entry another day. Going to zzz.