Parcel Arrival

I just received the parcel I ordered from RMIT.

Wooo....the merchandise has finally arrived, though the problem at hand now seems to be the issue of shipping these stuff back to Singapore.

The RMIT bear


The Medallion


The RMIT Mug


The Lapel Pin

Welcome: Nobby and Lava Lamp!

I wonder if my family is going to kill me if they see this entry.

Since I would be moving to a new place. I thought I should shop for some new accessories for my room, if I get one, that is.

But to be on the safe side, I got 2 small personal items.

Nobby


new Lava Lamp!


BBq at muylip's place!

Things to do...

Let's see what I've left to carry on doing.

1. SEAD's Milestone 2.
2. SEAD's Exam on the 28th.

Also, I got some books to read as well.


Some Self-Help Books (Influenced by Kevin :P)


Things to do when I'm bored. :)


'Research' to do on stuff =P

And when all this is in progress...find a JOB! To get closer to my WISHLIST.

1. A Semi-DSLR Camera.
2. Maybe a Wii or PS3.
3. A trip to Gold Coast perhaps?
4. A iPOD Touch.

And...I've finally got to the RMIT merchandise. Already bought some stuff.
1.RMIT Black T-shirt
2.RMIT Lapel Pin
3.RMIT Coffee Mug
4.RMIT Teddy Bear
5.RMIT Pewter Medallion

Missing out stuff in life....

Some things have happened this week which really serves as encouragements that I'm not alone.

For example, my neighbor, Linda, gave me a slice of her birthday cake. Yay, at least someone remembers me.


The Cake that Linda gave.

Then yesterday, Kevin, Shah and me went down to Ballarat for a day tour in the old mining town and the wildlife park.

Pictures can be seen here.

I really loved a couple of the pics that I took, especially of the cute koalas. Looks so cuddly and cute.


Sitting on the roof of the hut.


Looking around...


Found U!

Then I took a picture of a kangaroo with a joey in its pouch.

Cute right?

Also took a picture of an eagle...Looks like its staring.

Stared.

One funny thing to note was that up till now, I didn't realize my Z60 could take fast-paced image, due to not switching on the function...Aaah. Wasted so many good shots of the past.

Finding myself, Fading links.

Argh...back to the time.

I realized, during every holiday I gotta talk more, else I will become nervous to talk.

Have I ever mentioned?

I used to be a hyperactive, silent and non-friendly person.

but what am I now? I don't know....Can someone who reads my blog please tell me? I'll be including the entries of people who give comments on this. heh. Thanks.

Christmas seems to be coming in another month, and this will be my 2nd Christmas always from my family. The first was spent with my fellow soldiers and dogs of 36th SCE. Yeah, although most of the time I don't look like it, I miss home.

Miss my family, my little pretty sister and cute brother. I miss the times I woke up in the morning to switch off my brother's irritating alarm. Miss opening the door for my sis whenever she comes home late. I miss my dad, seeing him in the morning making breakfast. I miss my mother too, miss her cooking. I miss seeing my Aunt Patricia and Uncle Gilbert in church. I miss my friends Nani, Desmond and Claus. They were there for me for so many times in my life.

I miss my friends, Siu Fung and Kenny, going out with you guys over the weekends, out to chill, miss meeting Joy out in Bugis, its the only place that I always meet her. Miss Guojiu, Sean and Zixian, for our bi-monthly KTV sessions. I miss my other friends, Pei Pei and Ray, haven't seen them in a long time. Miss Soe Thet, Norman, Edwin, Henry...the times where we had aikido training together. I miss Daniel and his fiancee, Adelin. I miss Miss Goldfish, Cindy, my great friend Alvin. When can we meet up again?

I miss my grandmothers, my cousins and the little toddlers, mainly, Matthew, Xinyi, Xinhui, Dominic... of the family. I miss my basketball, my bokken, jo and tanto...when can I have that familiar grasp within my hands again? I miss feeling the 'twang' of the bow whenever I fire the arrow at the target...

I miss my tutelage under Instructor Ahmad. I miss the little tots and kids in my aikido class, missing rewarding with chocolates here and miss the 'uncle' black belts in my dojo...I miss the training in my dojo, where the training here cannot be compared to...

Whats more? I miss life in Singapore.

Prayer of Peace.

I managed to find my rosary prayer book after three days, and I happened to chance on this prayer of peace, by Saint Francis of Assisi.

Really meaningful.

LORD, MAKE ME AN INSTRUMENT OF YOUR PEACE.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is offence, pardon;
Where there is discord, union;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy;

O DIVINE MASTER, grant that I may not so much seek

To be consoled, as to console;
To be understood, as to understand;
To be love, as to love.

FOR IT IS IN GIVING THAT WE RECEIVE.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
It is in dying that we are born to ETERNAL LIFE.
Amen.

Time wasted so far....Could I turn back time?

Sometimes when I look back, I realized I outta have done alot of stuff that I wish I had done before.

1. Get my driving license.
2. Work harder in polytechnic.
3. Get my CCNA and MCSE certification.
4. Say stuff to somebody I wish I had said.
5. Tell my form teacher that when he said secondary friends are the best friends you can have that what he said is just judgmental.
6. Tell my maths teacher that he will forever suck in my world a 2nd time.(Though the 1st time he ended in hospital...:P)
7. Making Sunday a family day.
8. Going for self development courses and reading the books like Kevin does.

Things that I did not do but have not regretted it.
1. Getting a Sho Dan before coming to Australia. I won't be up to international standards anyway.
2. Instead of coming here to study and not back home. thus losing my girlfriend in the process.
3. Taking a security cert. Though I might want to get it for fun.

Lousy people

Some people are just not worth helping. You help the person, ends up that the person takes it for granted and she forgots all about you. This person owns me money, and yet whenever I see her, she will just nod and says she will transfer the money to my account asap, no matter how many times I have told her to just pass it to me or to her landlord.

Seemingly, she appears to own some rent to her landlord, and if I were to ask her to pass the money to him, he will know that she is just simply lagging behind on the payment. Let me tell you, what are you assuming? That if you don't pay, people will take pity on you and let you stay on, or just forget about the debt that you owe?

This doesn't happens. And when you share a place with someone, do not assume that everything is shared, including groceries. If you use something, replenish it after that and not just leave things empty.

Do think about it. I'm really starting to regret helping you in the first place. I should have just let you stay homeless on the streets after your own stupidity.

When you are feeling down

Have you ever got the feeling that when times where you are down, there is no one there for you?

I felt like that during my exams...so I prayed. There's always a special someone there waiting for you to speak to him. It's just your initiative to take in order to feel better talking to someone of your problems. Though its not a physical person, yet I do feel relieved, as if the load has just been taken off me.

I wanna change. I gotta learn to manage life on my own and not depend on others for personal happiness. If I want something, I gotta get it myself. Only then will I feel satisfied with what that has been done so far.

Else everything that has happened would be for naught.

Exam is just round the corner...

Time passes by fast when you dun expect it.

at 5pm tomorrow, I'm taking my programming 3 (Client and Server Architecture) paper...

....around 17 hours more to go. I'll reserve 6 hours before the paper for rest.

What have I left to revise?
1. Do the 2006 paper.
2. Have a final revision of my notes.
3. Pray that I pass the hurdle.

I'm actually also pretty perplexed regarding another subject that I have in this semester, the Computerized Accounting Systems module. I need 14 marks to pass, but if i can get 24 marks i'll get a credit...All because I had a high fever till the day before my class test, i wonder if I don't do well, is there a subpaper for this? I really was sick then. If its now, even if they asked me to do it on the spot, I don't believe that I wouldn't pass it...so stressed out...

Sometimes I really wonder am I cut out for the IT field. Argh!

Sometimes I really feel some friends take me for granted. But I can't blame them. After this, I'll just steer clear of them, I guess.

Pranks...pranks...

The 'famous' RK House video...


The kopitiam prank...its in Hokkien Btw...

My Favourite 2....

Does love come with words?
===========================
Lady : Why do you like me, why do you
love me, dear?

Man :I don't know, need there be a reason to love
you?

Lady :If you can't even tell me the reason, how can
you convince me that you love me?

Man :I may not know the reason, but I can prove
that I love you.

Lady : Prove it to me? I don't want proof! If my
friend's boyfriend can tell her the reason why he
loves her, why can't you tell me?

Man :Ok Ok! I love you...

- because your voice is sweet

- because you are caring

- because you are loving

- because you are thoughtful

- because of your smile

- because of your every movement

The lady felt very satisfied with the man's answer.

Unfortunately, a few days later, the lady met with
an accident and had gone into a coma. The guy
then placed a letter by her side, which said:

Darling,

It is because of your sweet voice that I love you...

Now can you talk? No! Therefore I cannot love you.

It is because of your care and concern for me that
I love you..

Now that you cannot show them, therefore I
cannot love you.

It is because of your smile,

Now that you cannot smile, therefore I cannot love
you.

It is because of your every movement that I love
you..

Now can you move?

No, therefore I cannot love you...

If love needs a reason, like now, there is no
reason for me to love you anymore.

Does love need a reason?

NO!

Therefore, I still love you.

Why we shouldn't wait.
==============================
Daniel and Jasmine are sitting alone in the park,
one night.

Daniel:
I guess we are the left overs in this world

Jasmine:
I think so, all of my friends have boyfriends and we
are the only 2 persons left in this world without any
special person in our life

Daniel:
Yup I don't know what to do

Jasmine:
I know! We'll play a game

Daniel:
What game?

Jasmine:
i'll be your girlfriend for 30 days and you will be my
boyfriend

Daniel:
That's a great plan in fact i don't have
nothing to do much this following week...

DAY 1:

They watch their first movie and they were both
touched by a romantic film

DAY 4:

They went to the beach and had a picnic...
Daniel and Jasmine have their quality time together

DAY 12:

Daniel invited Jasmine to a circus and they ride
on a Horror House ride. Jasmine was scared and
she thought she touched Daniel's hand but she
touched someone else's hand instead and they
both laughed.

DAY 15:

They saw a fortune teller down the road and
they asked for their future advice and the fortune
teller said: "My darlings, Please don't waste
the time of your life...Spend the rest of your time
together happily" Then tears flow out from the
teller's eyes

DAY 20:

Jasmine invited Daniel to go to the hill and
they saw a meteor...Jasmine mumbled something

DAY 28:

They sat on the bus and because of a bumby road
Jasmine gave her first kiss to Daniel by accident

DAY 29:

11:37pm

Jasmine and Daniel sat in the park where they first
decided to play this game...

Daniel:
I'm tired Jasmine...Do you want anything to drink?
I'll buy you one.. I'll just go down the road

Jasmine:
Apple Juice that's all

Daniel:
Wait for me.

20mins later; a stranger approached Jasmine

Stranger:
Are you a friend of Daniel?

Jasmine:
Why yes? What happened?

Stranger:
A reckless drunken driver ran over daniel and he is
critical in the hospital

11:57pm

The doctor came out of the emergency room
and he handed out an apple juice and a letter

Doctor:
We found this in daniel's pocket

Jasmine reads the letter and it says:

Jasmine, This past few days, i realized you
are a really cute girl and i am really falling for
you.. Your cherished smile your everything when
we played this game; before this game would end. I
would like you to be my girlfriend for the rest of my
life. I love you Jasmine.

Jasmine crumples the paper and shouted:

"Daniel ! i don't want you to die. I love you,
Remember that night when we saw ameteor, I
mumbled something; I mumbled that I wish we
would be together forever and never end this game.
Please don't leave me Daniel. I love you! You
cannot do this to me"

Then the clock strikes 12...

Daniel's heart stoped pumping

THEN IT WAS THE 30TH DAY;

Disliking waiting for the right time to say...

There's something about me, I used to dilly-dally and take my own sweet time thinking of how I should ask someone to be with me, planning what should be done and all that, And once the plan was set. It will be too late.

It's not a technique or something like that. Its just a mentality i adopted after so many failed attempts due to waiting for the right moment.

"Cindy should be able to understand this." It's not a declaration of love hint.

Now some lovely stuff to share with you guys..:

A Hug
--------------------------------
There's something in a simple hug
That always warms the heart;
It welcomes us back home
And makes it easier to part.
A hug's a way to share the joy
And sad times we go through,
Or just a way for friends to say
They like you 'cause you're you.
Hugs are meant for anyone
For whom we really care,
From your grandma to your neighbour,
Or a cuddly teddy bear.
A hug is an amazing thing -
It's just the perfect way
To show the love we're feeling
But can't find the words to say.
It's funny how a little hug
Makes everyone feel good;
In every place and language,
It's always understood.
And hugs don't need new equipment,
Special batteries or parts -
Just open up your arms
And open up your hearts.

Deep Love?
-----------------------
From the very begining, the girl's family objected strongly on her dating this guy. Saying that it has got to do with family background,& that the girl will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him.
Due to family's pressure, the couple quarrel very often. Though the girl love the guy deeply, but she always ask him: "How deep is your love for me?"

As the guy is not good with his words, this often cause the girl to be very upset. With that & the family's pressure, the girl often vent her anger on him. As for him, he only endure it in silence.

After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further his studies in overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the girl: "I'm not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?"

The girl agreed, & with the guy's determination, the family finally gave in & agreed to let them get married. So before he leave, they got engaged.

The girl went out to the working society, whereas the guy was overseas, continuing his studies. They sent their love through emails & phone calls. Though it's hard, but both never thought of giving up.
One day, while the girl was on her way to work, she was knocked down by a car that lost control. When she woke up, she saw her parents beside her bed. She realised that she was badly injured. Seeing her mum crying, she wanted to comfort her. But she realized that all that could come out of her mouth was just a sigh. She has lost her voice......

The doctors says that the impact on her brain has caused her to lose her voice. Listening to her parents' comfort, but with nothing coming out from her, she broke down.

During the stay in hospital, besides silence cry,.....it's still just silence cry that companied her. Upon reaching home, everything seems to be the same. Except for the ringing tone of the phone. Which pierced into her heart everytime it rang. She does not wish to let the guy know. & not wanting to be a burden to him, she wrote a letter to him saying that she does not wish to wait any longer.

With that, she sent the ring back to him. In return, the guy sent millions & millions of reply, and countless of phonecalls,.. all the girl could do, besides crying, is still crying....

The parents decided to move away, hoping that she could eventually forget everything & be happy.

With a new environment, the girl learn sign language & started a new life. Telling herself everyday that she must forget the guy. One day, her friend came & told her that he's back. She asked her friend not to let him know what happened to her. Since then, there wasn't anymore news of him.

A year has passed & her friend came with an envelope, containing an invitation card for the guy's wedding. The girl was shattered. When she open the letter, she saw her name in it instead.

When she was about to ask her friend what's going on, she saw the guy standing in front of her. He used sign language telling her "I've spent a year's time to learn sign language. Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise. Let me have the chance to be your voice. I Love You. With that, he slipped the ring back into her finger. The girl finally smiled.

Another song.

This song by Eminem is really impressive. - MockingBird



[Intro- Spoken:]
Yeah
I know sometimes things may not always make sense to you right now
But hey, what daddy always tell you?
Straighten up little soldier
Stiffen up that upper lip
What you crying about?
You got me

[Verse 1:]
Hailie, I know you miss your mom and I know you miss your dad
Well I'm gone but I'm trying to give you the life that I never had
I can see you're sad, even when you smile, even when you laugh
I can see it in your eyes, deep inside you want to cry
Cuz you're scared, I ain't there
Daddy's with you in your prayers
No more crying, wipe them tears
Daddy's here, no more nightmares
We gon' pull together through it, we gon' do it
Laney, uncle's crazy, aint he?
Yeah but he loves you girl and you better know it
We're all we got in this world
When it spins, when it swirls
When it whirls, when it twirls
Two little beautiful girls
Lookin' puzzled, in a daze
I know it's confusing you
Daddy's always on the move, mamma's always on the news
I try to keep you sheltered from it but somehow it seems
The harder that I try to do that, the more it backfires on me
All the things growing up his daddy that he had to see
Daddy don't want you to see but you see just as much as he did
We did not plan it to be this way, your mother and me
But things have gotten so bad between us
I don't see us ever being together ever again
Like we used to be when we was teenagers
But then of course everything always happens for a reason
I guess it was never meant to be
But it's just something we have no control over and that's what destiny is
But no more worries, rest your head and go to sleep
Maybe one day we'll wake up and this will all just be a dream

[Chorus:]
Now hush little baby, don't you cry
Everything's gonna be alright
Stiffen that upper lip up little lady,
I told ya Daddy's here to hold ya through the night
I know mommy's not here right now and we don't know why
We feel how we feel inside
It may seem a little crazy, pretty baby
But I promise momma's gon' be alright

[Verse 2:]
It's funny
I remember back one year when daddy had no money
Mommy wrapped the Christmas presents up
And stuck 'em under the tree and said some of 'em were from me
Cuz daddy couldn't buy 'em
I'll never forget that Christmas I sat up the whole night crying
Cuz daddy felt like a bum, see daddy had a job
But his job was to keep the food on the table for you and mom
And at the time every house that we lived in
Either kept getting broken into and robbed
Or shot up on the block
And your mom was saving money for you in a jar
Tryna start a piggy bank for you so you could go to college
Almost had a thousand dollars till someone broke in and stole it
And I know it hurt so bad it broke your momma's heart
And it seemed like everything was just startin' to fall apart
Mom and dad was arguin' a lot so momma moved back
On the Chalmers in the flat one bedroom apartment
And dad moved back to the other side of 8 Mile on Novara
And that's when daddy went to California with his CD and met Dr. Dre
And flew you and momma out to see me
But daddy had to work, you and momma had to leave me
Then you started seeing daddy on the T.V. and momma didn't like it
And you and Laney were to young to understand it
Papa was a rollin' stone, momma developed a habit
And it all happened too fast for either one of us to grab it
I'm just sorry you were there and had to witness it first hand
Cuz all I ever wanted to do was just make you proud
Now I'm sittin in this empty house, just reminiscing
Lookin' at your baby pictures, it just trips me out
To see how much you both have grown, it's almost like you're sisters now
Wow, guess you pretty much are and daddy's still here
Laney I'm talkin' to you too, daddy's still here
I like the sound of that, yeah
It's got a ring to it don't it?
Shh, momma's only gone for the moment

[Chorus]

[Verse 3:]
And if you ask me too
Daddy's gonna buy you a mockingbird
I'mma give you the world
I'mma buy a diamond ring for you
I'mma sing for you
I'll do anything for you to see you smile
And if that mockingbird don't sing and that ring don't shine
I'mma break that birdie's neck
I'd go back to the jewler who sold it to ya
And make him eat every carat don't fuck with dad (haha)

In the End

A year has passed. (almost.)

So fast. Just wanted to write something here.

I really love the time spent here and the friends made. Some old friends come and go after awhile, and its not my loss for them to be outta my life.

I made a few new friends as an exchange, you lose some, you get some.

One group of friends that I really appreciated alot were the the guys in my course, Muy Lip, Danny and Kevin. These guys really were the nicest bunch of friends I met here. Helped me alot with my work and whenever I was feeling down, they would be around to advise me. Kevin helped me alot as well, lending me his self-help books that really helped me change my perspective of life.

Thank you my friends.

Another group of friends were the dudes from SSA. Since I joined them with Kevin, I found that they were really a nice bunch. This group had its up and downs, but I guess we pulled through in the end. I had lots of fun organizing activities with them, and it helped me to see others in a better light. I got to make alot of friends of various nationalities. Also, when we got into teams to do work, I got to know how to draw the line between work and friends, gaining more knowledge slowly in life. I got to know who could be trusted with responsibility, and whom were contributing as a commitment, not because they had to.

Oh well, JOIN SSA!

What can I say for others coming overseas to study? My opinion would be not to put all your eggs in the same basket. Keep your options open and make more friends from various cliques. Find the group that most suits you, and stick with them through thick and thin. Cuz you never know which would turn out to be a bad egg and backstab you in some funny way just for his/her own gain and interest.

The study life in Australia may need some time to get used to. You need to adjust to the various short form words the lecturers use, the other nationalities in class. I must say I did encounter color differentiation in class, not from the tutors of course, but more from the classmates.

When you are here for awhile, you might realize that there's the common misconception that when you are Asian or Chinese, you are from China, you are from a run down country, you took a boat here... etc...thats often the misconceptions of the frogs living in their own well. What to do? for those who mind, just take it with a pinch of salt, its not our loss, its theirs. Who loses face when they say all this? not us.




(It starts with)
One thing / I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It’s so unreal
Didn’t look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on / but didn’t even know
Wasted it all just to
Watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart
What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
One thing / I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I’m surprised it got so (far)
Things aren’t the way they were before
You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end
You kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart
What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter

Some things on my mind...

So many things happened recently, that I feel so troubled on.


Was talking to Kai yesterday about being able to provide happiness for someone you like. He stated that since it was impossible to do if one was terminally ill or some personal reasons was part of it, he should let go of the person, since he would not be able to provide happiness for the person that he liked.

Asked Kevin on his opinion, n he said that he would rather spent time with his family and close friends.


But then in the end, it just boils down to one simple question.

What should I do?

Seeing my world in red.

This few days are really red...not red with anger lor....but more to seeing blood everyday. Wake up from sleep. See blood, do work halfway, see blood, eat halfway, see blood.


In short. See until SIAN. See until I cannot take it anymore. Why does my nose keep bleeding? since last year till now. Almost every freaking day.


Heh...see too much girls ar? Yah right.

Sorry.

I heard this song on the MTV here. (I guess this is the only channel I watch besides CSI-type movies.)

Sorry- Blame it on Me.



This song is really meaningful. It really expresses how I feel about the past, present and future.

As life goes on I'm starting to learn more and more about responsibility
And I realize that everything I do is affecting the people around me
So I want to take this time out to apologize for things that
I've done things that haven't occurred yet
and things that they don't want to take responsibility for

I'm sorry for the times that I left you home
I was on the road and you were alone
I'm sorry for the times that I had to go
I'm sorry for the fact that I did not know

That you were sitting home just wishing we
Could go back to when it was just you and me
I'm sorry for the times I would neglect
I'm sorry for the times I disrespect

I'm sorry for the wrong things that I've done
I'm sorry I'm not always there for my sons
I'm sorry for the fact that I'm not aware
That you can't sleep at night when I am not there

Because I'm in the streets like everyday
I'm sorry for the things that I did not say
Like how you are the best thing in my world
And how I'm so proud to call you my girl

I understand that there's some problems
And I'm not too blind to know
All the pain you kept inside you
Even though you might not show

If I can't apologize for being wrong
Then it's just a shame on me
I'll be the reason for your pain
And you can put the blame on me


You can put the blame on me

Said you can put the blame on me
Said you can put the blame on me
Said you can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me

I'm sorry for the things that he put you through
And all the times you didn't know what to do
I'm sorry that you had to go and sell those bags
Just trying to stay busy until you heard from dad

When you would rather be home with all your kids
As one big family with love and bliss
And even though pops treated us like kings
He got a second wife and you didn't agree

He got up and left you there all alone
I'm sorry that you had to do it on your own
I'm sorry that I went and added to your grief
I'm sorry that your son was once a thief

I'm sorry that I grew up way to fast
I wish I would of listened and not be so bad
I'm sorry that your life turned out this way
I'm sorry that the feds came and took me away

I understand that there's some problems
And I'm not too blind to know
All the pain you kept inside you
Even though you might not show

If I can't apologize for being wrong
Then it's just a shame on me
I’ll be the reason for your pain
And you can put the blame on me

You can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me

Said you can put the blame on me
Said you can put the blame on me
Said you can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me

I'm sorry that it took so long to see
But they were dead wrong trying to put it on me
I'm sorry that it took so long to speak
But I was on tour with Gwen Stefani

I'm sorry for the hand that she was dealt
And for the embarrassment that she felt
She's just a little young girl trying to have fun
But daddy should of never let her out that young

I'm sorry for Club Zen getting shut down
I hope they manage better next time around
How was I to know she was underage
In a 21 and older club they say

Why doesn't anybody want to take blame
Verizon backed out disgracing my name
I'm just a singer trying to entertain
Because I love my fans I'll take that blame

Even though the blame's on you
Even though the blame's on you
Even though the blame's on you
I'll take that blame from you

And you can put that blame on me
And you can put that blame on me
You can put that blame on me
You can put that blame on me

And you can put that blame on me

And you can put that blame on me

=P

Cut out from the memory...

Being taking alot of pictures so far. Realized that for alot of the happy events, I'm there physically, but not in the memory. No one really bothers to include me in the pictures right? Not sure how to solve this issue either.

I've found the motivation for keeping fit after so long. And yes. Its the joker who wrote on my "Things to Do" list -"but failed badly =P" I will become fit, see what you can say.

Crap. There's a glitch in my life.

Glitches. A major issue in life. Everyone just isn't satisfied. Get a soulmate, must have standard criteria. The package that comes with it must be well-endowed, whether physically or financially. Since when have feelings evolved to come with a price?

Are we suppose to love someone more because he/she is rich or owns something we can only dream of having? So what's my worth?

I don't have the 5Cs.
I can't guarantee that you will live life comfortably with me.
I can't ensure that you will be happy with me.

But the warranty that comes with my package:
The condition to love unconditionally and wholeheartedly.

But well, what good does this package do? No material needs and wants fulfilled. No personal gains. It's just a feeling. Nothing special.

My friends used to discuss about getting a rich gf, then there would be no need for work. Bull man, life doesn't work this way, unless in any sense, you are a wuss and prefer not to have any control of your life. Who doesn't want to see your other half happy? But you can't always hold on tightly to the rope and wish that it won't break. Give us some freedom. True, there are those who stray, but not everyone walks the same path, you can't just judge from a past experience.

If that is so, shouldn't I be really disappointed in women? In my path, all I have seen are the ones that will cast you aside when someone attractive comes in their midst, and when their heart has been broken, they come back to you, expecting something, or those that listen to every whim of their friends, and put their boyfriends to all kinds of funny tests. I understand that if I passed the test of yours, you will feel happy and smile, telling your friends that they were wrong, but have you ever thought of my feelings. I guess not. Sometimes they do have the cheek to ask you whether did you 'conduct' any test on them, but well..you know how much I loved you, thats why I can't bear to tell you that you failed every single one of them. Thats my promise.

You can hear it when others break your heart, but can you hear the silent cracking in my broken heart. I guess not. Since we are assumed to be great players, naturally you would think that it was just sound effects, not real one.

I thought that after the last one, I would just step out of the box, and help out here and there, be the angel that consoles you when u r down, but be gone when you look that kind of...

Life changes.

Taking a new step forward.

Humans once affected by something disastrously similar to what happened in the past are prone to rejecting it if it happens again.

In studies:
I sucked in Programming in my polytechnic, I just couldn't get the logic. Though I might know and understand the uses for each different coding, I can't manage to write it out. Now I got the same programming issues, and I'm starting to feel caged to the past. I'm really afraid to take the step out, I tried last time and got backstabbed by a Scorpio guy. Now my really great friend is helping me out alot, but yet I can't understand why can people be so helpful? Even my parents would drop me in the pool to paddle on my own.

In relationships
My last 2 relationships had it ups and down, treasured some memories, tore some to shreds. But what was the conclusion. I often hear girls complain about unfaithful or untrustworthy guys, but I do have my side of the story. Some girls are like that too. I can't drop how I felt, neither can I deny how I feel. Good guys don't get to meet good girls, and vice-versa. There's always a glitch up there somewhere.

Splat...Ba..dum...Cool..Urgh.

Paintball

Went for a game of paintball with around 23 other RMIT SSA members, all the way to NSW. I really enjoyed my first time of this game, but due to the lenses and my own glasses, couldn't really see properly during the game, ended up being the casualty of the day, with the most number of shots on me.

I did meet someone really nice on the trip..she seemed shy at first, I thought she would be a bit lian in the first place, since she was a friend of Wilson, but well things aren't what they seemed. She's a really nice girl...she even gave ammo to the opposition. Haha...

I hope I can get the rest of the pics from Desmond as well..since his cam has the ones that we were posing with the masks and the paintgun. Got to know the girl better after the paintball session, went for dinner with the group,

I realized this is the 3rd time I found someone I can really click well with so far..haven't found any negative points of her yet...heh, except she cannot tahan tickles...Hahaha..a lot in common. Rare. She likes mushrooms too, does that mean I now have a mushroom contender?

Really disliked the pics santoso took. Not nice one.

Operation Sebastian @ DFO

Went down to DFO Spencer Street with Sebastian. I only got a belt for myself, while he went on a semi shopping spree. He really got lotsa new clothes...haha, posting it up here.


The Before Pic


The After Pic


I really love this sundown.

Finally, I've gotten some pictures of the people I train in Aikido with in Melbourne.


Martin and Me


Yle (Cute ar. . .)

I'm feeling abit tired and demoralized now. Can I pass my degree successfully and get on with life? I feel so unstable now. I thank Kevin for helping me with my work, but yet I feel so uneasy about it. I wanna do something myself, but I'm afraid to take the next step, whether is it in relationships or studies.

I think...are some people really there for me? Kevin states that no one needs people to be there for them, just believe in themselves can already. I beg to differ. I really find that I need some support right now, but when I look around, everyone just seems so transparent. Could I make it in time for the graduation?

No one will be there at my graduation. Help guys......

New T-shirts!!!

So happy!!! I just exchanged 3 new T-shirts for 3 old T-shirts that I couldn't wear anymore!! =P

I'm going to take a few pictures of it and put them on the blog. Heh..



Back View of AFC



Front View of AFC



The BIG ISSUE



RED CROSS(back)



RED CROSS(front)

By the way, Cindy....HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

I realized I haven't been blogging much, but I'm just so tired...

Today, I got to know this aussie dude, and wow, he isn't as stuck up as most of the blokes I have met so far...should start posting up more pics..

I read up some books during the long absence:

So here, I've this books to recommend.
1. Sun Tzu Art of War
The book is really interesting, especially for people have a lot of interest in philosophy. Whats more, the book is design in a way that looks like a cross between a modern day book and a old Chinese manuscript format.

2. Making Friends by Andrew Matthews
Really easy to read, will recommend it for blokes who are having problems mixing around the common bunch, whats more, even if you aren't a reader, you will still look at this book, since most of the meanings are drawn out in the form of cartoons!!

Just some links worth checking out:
www.afconline.org.au
www.redcross.org.au

Nice Music on da nice Aussie morning

Switched on the TV after so long...and I got this really nice song....

By Grinspoon - What you got? Nice vid too


Another nice song that I wanna recommend..
花儿乐队- 穷开心

Excerpts from the week!

Now what has passed in this week:

The Story of a Banana in my House.
Went for the Aikido weapon class on Wednesday. I don't really remember doing the techniques anymore, feel so tired, yet I really wanna go for lessons training. I can't hear what Anthony is saying, as always. Think Irene quit because of this. I miss Bernie's class in kembagan. I finished the class, and was heading back home. Met these two old folks who were looking for 'Melba Hall', and they were in a hurry to reach there. Helped them to find the place as they didn't really knew how to speak much English. They gave me a banana in return for the trouble and that's the reason why there is a banana in my house.

The Bag of Unsold Garage Sale Stuff
Simple. I was supposed to sell them at the World Week yesterday, but it turned out to be a planning disaster. No stores were there, just a few people, quiet environment. Looks more like a walk down Bowen St on an ordinary day.

Time passes by...

Time passes by really fast, now its already mid-sem. It feels something like ORD. When there is a deadline to a certain date.

Also, my assignments ' deadline are coming as well, Stress. I hope I make the grade man, especially the Computerized Accounting System..."shivers"

Then what else is due?
Professional Computing Practice Ass 1 Part 2
(Headache for this lor...)

LEAD training today

Some might wanna ask, what does LEAD stands for?

Learn, Engage, Aspire, Develop.

What does this gets me?
1. rewarded with leadership training.
2. official recognition on academic transcript.
3. certificate signed by the Vice-Chancellor.

Now that makes me look back. What have I gotten from TP all these years. Nowadays, most companies are looking for people with soft skills, compared to technical skills where there is a super huge saturated market out there. However, there are just some people that do not, I stress...realize this.

So what happened today? Learnt a lot about time management, goals setting. Really useful, last time i went for such stuff in poly, where got cert one? and most of the time, its mostly bullshit.
Instead, I should have went for more of these yummy workshops. Get more certs...think back when I saw Zee's portfolio...OMG!

so much. Tsk...tsk...What have I been doing?

After today....change in resolutions goals.
1. Go nicer places in Australia to take scenic spots!!
2. Live life to the MAX!!
3. Go back Singapore, tell my family I love and appreciate them.
4. Get Certs.
5. Get MBA.
6. Repay education loan.

Was watching this funny clip of ah niu.


Wao. If there is someone in my heart now, I would actually feel so touched if someone actually sent me this.

Organic Biscuits are Yummy.

Kai bought me some yummy organic biscuits from Sydney.

I used to think that organic food was tasteless, and oh boy, I was so WRONG!! Maybe its due to the mass media that gives the misconception that organic food is utterly tasteless.

Heard from my dad that my sis is coming to Melbourne in Nov. Where should I bring her to...? :P

1. Smith Street...she will love it man.
2. Dolce Freddo...she might wanna stay after this.
3. Bring her to Melbourne Uni and RMIT.
4. Any suggestions?

1 project due on Monday. Hope I can finish it by Sunday man. . .then I will carry on to finish my PCP Assignment 1 Part 2. Not wise to waste time. Week 10 might be time straining.

Shit. Alot of pimples on my forehead...climate change?

Haven't booked air ticket yet...very sian. Fear of not passing my computing subjects. STRESS.

Birthday resolutions.. Ends to start.

Judith was asking me what are my birthday resolutions.

Oh well...what can i write?

1. Spend more time to graduate successfully.
2. Spend less time thinking of girls.
3. Read more self-help books.
4. Get a DSLR.
5. Befriend Life more.
6. Beckon Death more to some people.
7. Celebrate Birthday more.

Some friends may question me, why the 2nd point? The truth is, I'm still hurt from the last relationship. When you found someone you love and that person can let go of you and your feelings like 1,2,3 ...poof, It makes you wonder just how much can you trust a girl to be with her. I think currently, unless a miracle happens, there is simply no chance at all. I used to think getting a girlfriend was all that matters in my life, but thats now passe', it hardly or no longer appeals to me to see a woman and think of her as girlfriend material. Just more to an utter waste of time to think so much. This idea goes to the dogs.

Joan was telling me that most girls prefer bad boys...well its not the first time I heard it, but seriously, why should I contort myself to be like that? Whats the point? If some women like to be ill-treated, what can I say? If there is someone out there that cares for you, and you will completely drop him when your friends says so....I start to turn around and tell myself...why the hell was I being so nice to you for..?

Do you know...because of this, how much I really detest sitting too close to a girl now, friends are okay, but anything lower than that is a no-no. I don't feel shy, but I feel more to "keep me away.' And another thing, I do not gamble with money or go find chickens. So stop lubbing me together with it. In a way, I love every last moment of my last relationship, and I hate it to every last drop just as well.

I'm not queer or anything. But please... Gambling away what money your parents gave you to study is a waste. I rather gamble with something that belongs to me, etc; my life. I have been gambling with it since I was diagnosed with the illness. Telling me to stay put, do injury-free things. Don't exert myself...WTF. I'm not cut out for that. I rather expire happily then to be treated as a sick person. I wanna run, jump, fight, shout, snap for my remaining time that I can do all this, rather than lie down and wait for death to befriend me.

I want to live my life the way I want it to be before I go.

Syah.... Telling me that I'm trying too hard to be remembered. I don't even remember even wanting to be remembered by you. Just saying how's life to you if as good as asking you to tell me to F off. Have I done anything to you? Why I have a birthday party and invite you in the first place? Its not that I really wanted you to come, I only asked because someone else requested. You can enjoy yourself on trying to humiliate me, but I most of the time, instead of feeling angry, I often wonder what pleasure you gain from this..?

The idiot that keeps flaming me on my blog, do you not have anything else to do besides coming here when you are bored and hoping to piss me off? Please stop your childish behavior, though its not really like kids will listen much to what adults have to say. If you really think you are so right up there, try doing better things with your time like helping the sick or the poor, there's some freaking problem with your humanity. If your obnoxious brain still doesn't get it, try not hiding behind a computer or linking through someone else's blog to confuse me, maybe your brains are in your balls. If so, tell me your comments personally in front of me. Else, do get lost from my life and my blog, you have no right to comment on it.

Why are birthdays so important in my life? Because its there to prove that you have lived another year on the chart..the longer the years in front, the better right...? Why do birthdays have to be happy, why, you aren't happy to be living?

To the guys, when your girl compares you with her ex, how do you feel? You want life anew, but you can't let go.

My internet connection....waaaah.

I wonder what has happened to my internet connection at home, i just cannot seem to connect to the internet at all using my asus computer. Its always the case with the damn network. Strange enough, i can connect using my tablet pc.


At 12am today. I turned 23.

on the 14th,
Had dinner with Kevin, Muy Lip, Lee Ting, Danny, Desmond, Danielle and Zee at Ye Shanghai down Swanston St. Really spend alot of happy, unforgettable moments there..won't forget it. Desmond, Zee and Danielle got me a tripod and a cup. Then Kevin and friends got me a Trance CD. Pictures willl show on a later date when Danielle pass to me. Went home, gave remainder of the cake to Rui and Jack, seems she already prepared a box of rocche for me already. haha...then Jack gave me a mamee noodle pack...got separate wishings from Lynne and Latha as well.

on the 15th,
Kai wished me happy birthday for the third time. Xiqi also. Then went out with Judith for dinner at meji japanese cafe. Yay...tried sake again! Judith didn't like its taste though, haha, then we went freddo and it was her 1st time going there for ice cream...saw danny and eric...
met this guy called gregory...then alas, problem starts. My home connection is down, cannot chat with parents or celebrate birthday with them. :( then judith called me again to come down, and there she was with the birthday cake she bought. So touched. Then when up to cut cake and distribute to friend who have not yet slept. But then my dad heard judith in the background while talking , wonder what he is going to think?? :P but pek chek the toopid internet, cannot connect to use the webcam to celebrate with my family the cake they bought for me. Max sms to wish happy birthday too...

on the 16th, not yet end...
Rahul called to wish happy birthday. and Eric too. but then internet down, so use tablet to access...can leh...how come, wasted $ talking to the helpdesk. then saw many comments on my friendster...THANK YOU PPL! Michelle also wished me online...;P

But then realized...secondary school only got weiwen wished. Where are my close friends and poly friends...think they too busy...

Pictures:


Dinner at Meiji



Dinner at Ye Shanghai..


Happy Message...

Rest of the pics are at my photosteal album...

Path to take after IT degree...

Was thinking of continue studying after this degree when I go back.

Should I work part-time to pay for my studies, or the other way round, part time studies, plus full-time work. Staying back home is great, continuing studies without working is even better. But as the eldest son, shouldn't I be out working by now in order to help with the family finances?

My sister and my brother need to go to the university too, right?

Kevin suggested doing a MBA if I wanna go for Business. But what if I wanna do sociology and communication?

Birthday Celebration..?

The birthday celebration would be posted on the 16th, rather than the 14th, as it isn't the actual date...by then I should have the pictures with me already.

Thanks guys for your well wishes. :P

Count on me Singapore...

I really like this song as a kid during the National Day

By the way, RMIT SSA was featured in the Strait Times today.



Here's the link.


:)

A long sleepy programming day.

Finish doing one part of the assessed lab. Now waiting for my turn for assessment. I suppose I could forgo the two marks of the other one, but hopefully i can get a mentor to coach me in Java.

After my bad experience with Jack in poly, well, it could be said that I literally hated Java Programming. I started to feel like i'm gonna be a goner if I was to take Java, or any type of programming whatsoever.

Programming 3 onwards...

Projects....LET's BATTLE!!!

Really crap header though. My projects deadline are coming to a climax. Need to kill them off fast.


A joke of a supermarket item: What reads as apple and mango, but doesn't taste like any of it...?

So what do I have to kill this week?

My SWOT analysis.
My PCP Assignment 1 Part 1.
My Assessed Lab. ---I'm going to fizz out big time man.

You know the bad thing about education nowadays? Sometimes the school just provides shitty lecturers and tutors when their ability to teach is in question. Our parents hard-earned money are used to feed these slacking individuals who might die from saying vital information that might help us in our assignment. I have this module that says, "no accounting needed." But please, all along for the past 4 weeks, it has been the battle of double ledger accounts, transaction journals, chart of accounts...this kinda stuff. It doesn't really affect me much though, got some background knowledge, though I might not understand what is being taught at times. The lecturer just droos on and on on the theory that she reads from the lecture slides.

Some tutors are even better, their command of English is so good, that it can be assumed that the Encik in military service might even gain a doctorate for their skill in spoken english. Tutors who are unsure of their work, not sure why are they doing in the class most of the time, when being asked questions, always answer you with, "erm, maybe." --This kinda answer no doubt puzzles me completely. Imagine when I coach aikido, a trainee asks, is this how you do this submission lock? If I give a maybe answer, then whats going to happen next...?

Probably, I might not be given a chance to teach anymore.

Oh yes...I'm on national website...look here. Start the RMIT Greeting video.

Argh...I'm stoned,

Whats happening to me? I feel so stoned.

Don't feel like doing any of my work, feeling so lethargic. Kai is feeling the same as well. What is happening to me....?


Didn't blog much for the 2 weeks. Being really lazy, wanting to blog about going-ons, yet not in the mood for writing.

So lets start some writing to see if I can get back into the mood for doing some work.

Firstly, something to make me realized whats going to happen if I don't buck up.
Week 4 Time for the assessed lab of Programming 3.
Week 4 Time to do the journal for Business Analysis.
Week 5 Time to hand up my individual assignment for Computing Practice.
Week 6 Time to hand up my Reflective Journal for Business Analysis.
Week 7 Time to hand up my individual assignment for Business Analysis.
Week 8 Time to hand up Programming 3 assignment.

Start of E-learning course:
Start of Website revamp:

So all these boils down to the point...WHAT AM I DOING!!?

Last week went to Falls Creek to ski. Met lots of new people there. Anyway, the pics are up in my Picturesteal account on the right. Please feel free to go take a look. What do I get from going on to trip? Better bondings with close friends. Poor Peishi hurt her fingers during the ski trip. Got a new buddy in Max and Wilson. Got to know Eunice better...really funny person. Her friend lost her voice during the trip...poor thing.

Brought some of my neighbors to smith street on Sunday. I got 3 tees altogether... they bought quite alot of stuff, with kai, desmond buying one item each. Met danielle to celebrate her birthday. I feel so envious of her. People actually gathered to celebrate her birthday with her making her feel so touched. As for me, It seems that I'm pretty much forgotten when this special day comes. So far, who has really remembered my birthday? Just a few. Jason, Amy, Siu Fung, Sam, Peipei, Adelin, Daniel, Nani, Cindy, Alvin....used to smile in my heart every time I see that greeting flash on my phone.

It feels great to be remembered.

Daniel is telling me Melanie from church was looking for me. She still remembers me. :)

Depressing Stuff.

Someone I know is going back really soon. Someone I know for only just three days, but yet, I love talking to her after the three days have passed. Maybe its because she couldn't talk for that three days, or something else. I don't know. So whats so nice about her? Besides posing for almost every single photo I took on the mountain, I kinda have to admit that she has a really nice smile and great windows to the soul....something that melts your heart I guess. Will I see her again?

Fate decides....again.

Mr Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Started reading the book at 3 yesterday. Slept at 5 .30. Woke up at 10 this morning and yes, I just finished the book at 1300.

So how was it?

Well, I expected the ending. I guessed who was the plotter, who was the spy. Whom died? Also guessed correctly.

But yeah, its a nice book. Though the ending was really sudden. As if the writer wanted the book to be done and over with. Not really the ending that I liked.

Some people never learnt.

This post is dedicated to the one who posted the funny message to me.

For once, comment if you like, but do not comment on my choice of content for my blog. Post on your own if you like, but please kindly leave your childish personality on your own blog.

I'm not here to entertain you, neither to rebuke you on your childishness. I just wanted you to know that there are invisible eyes out there on the Internet that can observe what you do, write, etc and record it down.

I don't really care who are you. But if you are who I think you are, think about it. FRIEND.


Someone is watching...

Fate is like hanging on a thin thread.

I feel so disappointed with myself.

When I don't understand the subject, i got 25%. When I understand I got 30%. What bugs me is what have I done wrongly..failure for me when I know its a failure is understandable...but failure is not an option when I know my mistakes.

SO, WTF happened? Guess I'll only know tomorrow.

I called my dad just now, even more disappointed with myself when my dad showed concern. I expected that he would grumble and scold me, I tried hard, studied and this is the result. Is it true if you aren't set for the subject, no matter how you try, nothing nice is going to come out of it? Why can't I get this?


Life feels so dull suddenly,
At the click of a mailbox,
My world grows dark and cold.

Lost is my golden key,
Gone is my hope for honours,
Demise of my masters' Dream.

Burden by disappointment,
Heavy my shoulders feel,
Weakening of my legs.

Can I still stand?
I need some time off.

I need some encouragement.
Dennis better dun piss me off on the trip.

Scanario?

It's not a spelling mistake. I'm just following what the tutor pronounced the scenario as. Week 1 of school is ending soon.

And what have I gotten? Projects....projects..gotta start doing them in order to be in schedule for the programming assignment for Programming 3.

Professional Computing Practice seems really boring. Basically, its just self-learning. Accounting systems too...just that I gotta do a refresher for the debit and credits.

What I'm feeling now...properly described in this MTV by Linkin Park: Somewhere I Belong.



(When this began)
I had nothing to say
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me
(I was confused)
and I let it all out to find
That I’m not the only person with these things in mind
(Inside of me)
But all that they can see the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I’ve got left to feel
(Nothing to lose)
Just stuck, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

(chorus)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I’ve felt so long
(Erase all the pain till it’s gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real
I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

And I’ve got nothing to say
I can’t believe I didn’t fall right down on my face
(I was confused)
Looking everywhere only to find
That it’s not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
(So what am I)
What do I have but negativity
’Cause I can’t justify the way everyone is looking at me
(Nothing to lose)
Nothing to gain, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

(Repeat chorus)

I will never know
Myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel
Anything else until my wounds are healed
I will never be
Anything till I break away from me
I will break away
I'll find myself today

(Repeat chorus)

I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I am somewhere I belong
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I am somewhere I belong
Somewhere I belong

So lost.

School starts..today

Went down to the DFO at Essendon yesterday with the 3Ds, Danielle's friend and roommate and Jason, can't spell their name.

Bought a single T-shirt from Esprit at 15 dollars.

After that Possum hunting marked the end of a remarkably long but seemingly short holiday.
(For those who don't know what the hell is a possum, don't worry, I managed to take pictures of it. Something like a giant squirrel, I would say.)

Oh well, school starts today. Will be going down to help man the RMIT aikido booth today. Wonder who will be there to do the setting up. I heard Lock will be going down. I wonder will that be an attraction too?

Anyway, I might be going down early, just to take a look around and recce a bit here and there for awhile. I'll help Lock for the moment, probably until around 2pm I guess. I'm thinking of meeting up with Kirby since he's here with his girlfriend. He seems to have mellowed down a bit. Haha. Took a look at my course guide this morning, seems I'm gonna have a headache this sem for Programming 3. One look and I think,"OMG. I don't even remember anything of this shit."

But then, must keep a positive thinking, and slog on. Now I'm thinking, should I go purchase the lecture notes today?

Thinking about the SSA job starts to give me a headache. Feel so lost.

Close your eyes and open your mind..

Went down to Hoyts to watch Bridge to Terrabitha this afternooon with Kai, Kevin and Eric. Rahul shouldn't have missed out on this nice show.

This show was really interesting, though the starting parts were damn boring.

As the show was playing, it asked me. What is real? Can fantasy be made-believe or part of our lives...? It makes me wonder which part of my life is reality, which part of it is what I wished it would be.

Lets' say in the context of an imaginary friend. I feel lonely in life. No one to love me, pamper me at all. What do I do? I create an imaginary friend whom I know will give me all that I want without any conditions. Friends nowadays, they wanna know you for various reasons other than friendship. The true meaning of friendship is long forgotten.

Imagination is the key. Life doesn't have to be boring, and waiting for others to move. Move on your own and others will follow. Never wish for a miracle, it will never happen. Work towards the miracle, make it happen.. Life doesn't have to be dull. If you are dull, your life will be colorless. If you are all-jumpy, well, we see some colors, don't we?

Results are out?

Results are out!!!

Apart from one shot down...but nevertheless to be revived.

Professional Practice for Information Systems - Credit.
Computer Security and Control - Distinction.
Web3D Technologies - Distinction.

A sigh of relieve for the Computer Security, actually expected a credit due to some nutty cork up. Professional Practice for Information Systems, expected a pass - credit, due to the tutor teaching and highlighting utterly irrelevant shit. Luckily, the lecturer was downright boring but actually a very great help, and 2nd point was that I done this subject in poly. :P. As for web3d, Trevor actually hinted that I got close to a High Distinction during a meeting. :)

Haha...actually i wrote some much so that my post won't look so short.

Updates!

As above....photos taken thru the weeks have been updated.

Few more Days to my re-test. Hope I pass, then can continue my 2nd semester in peace. Must write faster, draw correct diagrams...bring ear muffs, don't dress too much. Tired shoulders.

Just to note: @ my Picturesteal page.

1. Clubbing and Hot Pot pics are in "Daily Melbourne"
2. New "Melbourne Zoo" photo album.
3. New "RMIT Aikido" photo album.

Happy Viewing..!

Welcome to Melbourne Gaol.

Went to visit the Melbourne Gaol while waiting for my laundry to dry. Went there with Eric, Kevin and Shah. A rather ghostly atmosphere, took a few pictures to show my point, but I can't upload it currently, due to the problem of over downloading. I will have to wait till Monday before I can upload any new event pictures.

Another way is to hop on to RMIT, and upload from there, should be much faster, but nt sure whether the place got open or not during the holidays.

6 months have passed so fast. Worrying woes are beginning to set in. For sure Adelin is going to buai me for this post. I'm STILL worrying about getting a job back home...aaah.

Welcome to the zoo..zoo.zoo... + Autobots Roll out!!!

Juz came back from watching the Transformer movie. Remembered it was so popular back then..really missed those times.

I loved the part where the female lead mentioned that the car was crap, and Bumblebee morphed to a newer version of the car.

Wonder whether is there going to be a sequel? Starscream is still around there somewhere...the scorpion-like robot is still somewhere in the desert...

Went down to the Melbourne Zoo with Kevin and Muey Lip and Lee Ting. Relived times where I got to the zoo in Singapore to take pictures, with my dad always nagging me to remember to include myself in the picture. Just to note, I myself am not camera-shy, but I would rather take pictures of the scenery or animals rather than myself. I would prefer to take pictures with good friend or someone that I liked, thats all. Really enjoyed myself seeing the animals living so carefree. But true, they gain security and lose freedom. Is that a good sacrifice?

This point was also highlighted in the Transformer movie too. Are we living in a free country? Where we can speak our minds? Most of the time, others care not on what we say, but more to what they can gain from what we say. Someone has to stand up for others to take part.

The pictures taken today will be up soon.

Pictures Due:
1. Aikido Demos.
2. Clubbing @ Velour.
3. Visit to the Melbourne Zoo.
4. SSA Sponsorship Pictures.

Work Due:
5. Studying for my sub paper.
6. Re-doing my resume.
7. Back to job search in Singapore?

1 word. Ahhhhh!

The weight is on me....urgh.

School's starting soon.

Seeing one of my results where I have to take the sub paper makes me so pei chek. Though I expected it since I sucked at that module, still I got the same feeling. The moment I got this information, I rushed down to school to look for Dale and asked to see my paper.

Got blacked out that damn day. And you know what, I probably would have passed by the skin of my teeth...if I had more time to finish certain parts of the paper. Sobz.

Got great for my assignments. But then crashed due to my final paper. Aaah wasted. Think next time I have to print out my assignment grades to convince my future employees.

Software Engineering Fundamentals : Dead - Hope for Resurrection.
Web3D Technologies: Live - Hope for Distinction, best become High Distinction.
Professional Practice for Information Systems: Hope Live - Happy for Credit.
Computer Security Controls: Hope Live - Happy for Credit, best become Distinction.

Terence called me to go clubbing at Velour. It's a new Terence, not the Idiot upstairs. Anyway the clubbing was cool. Kevin got hooked up by some some random missus. Heng not me, disgusted. The music was okay, a lot of Chinese there as to what Kevin said. Some cute girls, but no idea why, I don't feel a sense of attraction so far for babes I meet in clubs..?

Going to Melbourne Zoo tomorrow morning with Muey Lip and Lee Ting, plus Kevin. Wonder got what animal there. Hehz. I should remember the route to go there, can provide information in the SSA forum.

Thinking about graduation again. What to do? Confirm will be going back to Singapore to work, since I don't think I taking honors liao. Probably, will take Masters in SIM, part-time probably. Either that, get a specialist certificate in security. Looking out for jobs that might interest me. Help help.

Studies liao. Do what in life?

Another 6-10 months more of studying life, and I'll probably be on the path of working already.

Then, the major questions will be, what will be my job? Will it be interest-related? Will it be IT-related? Will I even get a job? Everyone wants a meaningful job that will interest them and give a meaning to life's journey. Gives memories back to primary school where we had to write an essay with regards to what we wanna be when we grow up. Can't remember what I had wrote, if I did write something, it should be to be a police officer I guess.

Was browsing thru alot of jobs a few days ago.
Just to name a few:

1. Working as a Customer relations officer.
2. Becoming a Teacher.
3. Becoming a financial adviser...
4. Working in the Civil Service..
5. Had the dream of signing on, but alas..
6. Becoming a security auditor.
7. Being involved in IT..marketing.
8. Teach martial arts? lol.
9. Join the workforce as a IT staff.

Thing is, what am I looking for in a job? Self-satisfaction? Interests? Even I can't think of what I wanna be when I graduate.

Blog Patrol rocks...!

I just installed a blog counter on my blog....I got it from kevin's website. Thanks to him for that man. :P

Due to this, I got to know information on whom is visiting my blog and where are they from...feeling curious, since I got some hits from Google.com, I decided to go to Google and type my blog name in....

Guess what? I got 6 hits.

By the way, I'm helping my friend to promote his photo storage creation...it can be accessed from here.

So guys, please give my friend your support...!

Trevor, my Web3D lecturer sent an email to my account to say that the examination results the subject is out. Just hearing this makes me feel so sian...I hope I passed that man...what worries me more is my software fundamentals...its easy, just taxing to finish in one shot...as for my professional practice in information systems, its assured. Phew..now to go zzz and read books.

Night everyone...

And thanks for visiting my blog, Xunru, Alvin and Cindee...

New Picture Site.

Hi my friends who visit my site often...

I've placed a new link to another photo album since the rest are all choked up. Hope you guys love them.


Argh...thinking about my results now....I hope I passed man....

Holidays are boring..

Just started my semester break not too long ago. Thanks to peishi, I'm now watching the dramas she has passed to me.

Previously I was watching this touching Japanese drama called Gokusen, at first I thought it had something to do with monkey god, but then well, I realized that it was actually something like GTO. I was rather pei chek that it finished after 10 episodes, but was happy to find another 10 in another disc.

But too bad, the first is always the best. As always, the weather is getting really cold, sometimes hitting 6 even. Claus has advised me to wear warm clothing, thanks alot!

Went down to smith street yesterday with pei shi, bought a suit and a hooded jacket, but I still can't find that smart casual jacket that I wanted. I used to wear jackets back in Singapore too, but somehow I found that the matching looked rather bad, so I stopped wearing them, anyway, it turns out that jackets are quite suitable here. So most of the clothes that I'm purchasing here are actually less thicker than they are suppose to be, so that when I go back to Singapore, I can wear them.

Dad told me to call my older follks here and there as they will really appreciate it. Think I should give my grandmas a call tomorrow morning, and also to start getting on with doing my work for the winter.

Things I hope to do:
1. Prep up for subjects next semester.
2. Get started on the recruitment plan.
3. Get started on the website.
4. Start reading the books I have bought so far.
5. Start trying the pasta recipe book that I bought, can cook for my parents when I get back.

I used to think that doing IT would be my preferred field of work. True, it is interesting, but it interests me more during the research factor, but not really in the practical aspect. As for photography, it is my dream to capture memorable images. Cooking? well, I hope to be able to whip up great dishes for the people I love, thats all. I think those who influenced me on these stuff would be:

IT- It should be both Jason and Yi fu.
Photography - It should be my dad and charlie.
Cooking - It should be my aunt's and uncle's food business, and Claus.

Was at a gathering chatting with Irene yesterday. She expressed interested in getting a black belt in aikido. This got me thinking, what does the black belt represent?

To some:
1. It equals to status.
2. It equals to a sense of achievement.
3. It comes about as a sense of higher learning.
4. Time to slack.

I admit that I'm not a top quality aikidoist, therefore I have no right to criticize others. But there are some who are willingly taking up an offer to lend a helping hand without knowing what he or she is getting himself into.

Things to be prepared are:
1. Students who are overzealous.
2. Complain King students.
3. Racist students.
4. Sexist students.
5. Horny students, very rare, but slim chance.

Some trainees might agree that becoming a black belt sacrifices a lot of personal time. Dedication is one thing, personal life is another. Your boyfriend or girlfriend might not understand why are you spending so much time there. You might be swamped by overwhelming demands from students and parents alike.

Well. Thats all for today. :P

Here...fishies...fishies.

Just had a quick dinner with pei shi over at my place today. Cooked some beef and salmon. Hope that she liked what she ate.

I'm out on a fishes craze recently, think due to the exam mood, I literally killed most of my brain cells. She passed me alot of korean dramas to watch...hope they will be interesting. :)

Sleepy...zz

A cold blurry night.

Melbourne's weather is getting from bad to worse.


The sky was so foggy at 5pm, and by just talking you would be able to see mist coming out of your mouth. Went for aikido after so long finally at Melbourne University. Seems rather funny that I'm going to another school's aikido class instead of my own. Well, I had exams that period of time, what to do?

I saw a set of Melbourne university's polar fleece jacket. Wow it was really nice, not to say that the one made by RMIT University sucks, but the former was definitely the type of jacket that I preferred. I really liked the beanie sold by RMIT though.

Went dinner with peishi at Nandos. One thing about this restaurant is that I'm only attracts to the chilli sauce. Brr...Cold weather.
Too bad I can't post pics here, will update it in when able to.

Finally over.

Yippee.

My exams are finally over. But I still do not know what I wanna do for the holidays. Feel so tired after the exams.

Time for a long rest. Haiz.

Alternate World.

Was planning to write this in the morning, but somehow got overtaken by the other's thoughts.

Ever get the feeling that when you are sleeping, you have a dream that makes you smile, and just when you get to the good part, you wake up. An absolute letdown. You start to grumble about not finishing the dream. I had this idea when I was a kid. If you wanna continue your dream, just go back to sleep and you know what? It works.

How? You might ask. Well, There's different levels of sleep. When dreams start occurring, you are at the level where you are physically asleep, but you are still mentally conscious. Make yourself go back to that level. I have been doing this since I was a kid.

Some people may ask, what the point of this? Simple, in a dream, you came from:

Asleep --> Unconscious --> Conscious mode --> Awake.
(You have no or little control of what you are dreaming.)

I tried this method.
Awake-->Asleep-->Conscious.
(You have complete control over your dreams, and you can wake up anytime you want.)

Simply saying, I love this world. I allows me to live in this false reality where I can achieve my impossible dreams just for a temporary period of time. I get to relive my memories again, inputing parts that were missing in real life, thus turning it into reel life. Sometimes I do wish I could just sleep on and continue living in this alternate reality. But yet the reality beckons.

At the start, there were some miscalculations on my side. There was once, I woke up, went back to dreamland, but only woke up at the end of 4 days. The other times were that I went into conscious mode without physically sleeping, therefore seeing some stuff that one would normally describe as a nightmare, but the problem was that I was experiencing the nightmare while awake!

The mind is such a fun place.

Just Desserts.

Just wanna write something about myself. Something that a lot of people don't know about mi.

I find it very interesting to see if a friend has been cause the of problems for me. Especially if its a long term problem. Its rather an interest booster to the person's character, I must comment.

Childishness?

Most of the time, even if I know that you are the troublemaker behind my problem, Nah, I still won't bother, unless you start to make the first move to bomb me. But then I'll still be a friend and visit you occasionally, even if you don't want to open the door. Well, I believe in a lasting friendship.

But I also believe what goes around, comes around.
Sins were much discussed about in my religion. Really paid a lot of attention on this. Friend should be friends, true. I'll still be friendly to you even if you were stabbing my back. I believe in basic conscience. If the friend in question doesn't have it, thats ' even better, coz this makes life's journey much more interesting in the number of surprises that you will get from this guy. Life is pretty much more interesting with the bad guys around, don't you think?

Anyway, the point is, I believe, when you grow old and die, we will either go to Purgatory, Heaven or Hell. I think most of the people that die are still somewhere in purgatory, waiting for their sins to be forgiven. I wouldn't want my friend to go to hell or purgatory you know.

The best result: I'll see you guys in heaven. We will talk about the good, funny times, we enjoy the company of the creator.
The worst result : I'll see you guys in hell. I will just ask you, "Mate, how's the heat? It's hot in here, I know I deserved this, but what are you doing here with me? my good friend?"

The 'okay' result: We see each other in purgatory. One of us will take a longer time to be condemned, or be enlightened.

Anyway. Enuff of this. The main point is: I love you my friend. To me, giving is like a double-edged sword. I'll give you what I have, you deserved it. I want you to turn back and stop stabbing me, simply cuz it hurts. But if you still decide to stab on, so be it. But the thing is, up till here, anything else that I give you will accumulate your sins, cause you are repaying evil for friendship. In a way, I'm giving you an extra serving of sins. The idea is, if you are still stabbing me, you better stop accepting stuff from me. :P

I am the type who's going to absolutely anything to repay the deeds done to me.

Skincare Siao.

Australia really has a lot of facial products for Men.

Could it be because of the queers too? Anyway, if it is so, then I thank them, since I use just as much as a girl anyway.

Some people reading my blog might be curious, why am I writing this..?

Well, last time back in secondary school, I used to have damn alot of pimples, outbreaks etc. My whole face was so red with acne lor. Then I started to use facial wash, scrub etc. But the ones that I use in Singapore cannot be found here. Haiz...going to have some problem removing blackheads man.

I just discovered a new product. It helps to sooth off the dark eye circles around the eyes and the eye bags. And whaddayaknow, it works!

too bad I can't post pictures directly onto the blog, but it will look kinda gay-ish. Just finish my 1st paper, and my first exam in so long. What was the last test I took in Singapore?

Oh yah, the SOP for the use of MOPPE4. Heh. Wear the stupid chemical defense suit. Most of my friends are going back sg, wonder when are they coming back. One more thing, I have to thank 36th SCE for this nice jacket. Keeping me protected from the COLD. Thou I wish someone can get my Gortex jacket for me :(

I'm so happy that I am no longer owning anything to that bastard staying upstairs. You think its a personal pleasure to pick people off? I didn't do anything to you, and what you do? Go around telling others not to befriend me, telling tales behind my back. Fuck you. I regret even coming to Melbourne together with you in the first place. For placing my trust in someone so utterly unreliable. Nabei, telling me that you can't contact me at all, my phone is on 24 hours. I'm online until late at night, you can't contact me. You get pissed with me for that, that how about the times I was looking for you?

1. Spreading rumors that I'm visiting pros. (What's your problem? You need someone to go with you?)
2. Telling people I'm bad company("At least I'm not like someone who degrades people of other races in public")
3. Telling me that you are not at home thru the phone.(But I'm at your neighbor's place and whose voice am I hearing..?)
4. Telling me to wait for u to come down to print until 2am, but where the hell are you?
5. Then telling me days later that you don't want to print already then. What do you take me for? Your servant?

6.I chose not to believe what others were saying about you mate, but seems like I was wrong!

Material ways...getting bits outta my heart!

Juz feel like blogging today before my 1st paper on Friday.


Beginning to see the sense in things..why was I so silly then to pursue something that comes by fate...? Being single is great. There's no one to look back for. I'm my own guy, I walk my own path, there's no need to stretch my hand out waiting for someone to come grasp my hand.

Realize so much things in life is so much of material gains. You work, you slog....whats the point? Others would say its to fulfill their dreams. Some would say its to give their family a good life. Happy family is the game. But think of it, all the time spent slogging your time off. Can you ever earn back what you have missed in your life amid all those years of slogging?

I don't like slogggin' cuz the idea's simple. I work so hard, I look back. I can see the happy times of people around me, but I'm not in the picture. After so long, there has only been one person who really cared about what I think, cared to know me better. Cared to know more about me..while all the while, I'm the one doing all the work, trying to find out things my friends love. Try to match those single friends with other single friends I have that are around the type of that both of them are looking for. Discreetly. I wanna see something blossom in my world.

I was really happy today when I saw that Adelin was getting engaged. And to none other then my great friend. Daniel. So many of my friends are already married. Ke Bin to his wife in the States. Weiwen and her husband on the 1st of June. Huiyi to her boyfriend in Sept. Yeah I'm not there.

Family comes First. Work Second.

Relationships have never really been much of a thing for me, when I look deep into my heart. I wanna be there for the person I love. But I'm always taken for granted. After awhile, I feel like I'm out of the picture...Juz there but not there. If I get to choose, I might want to apply for the position of a guardian angel, since I'm always there, but no one really knows I'm there. I wanna be the one who wraps my wings around someone I care about, to shelter her from the rain or the glaring sun. But when she feels something, She looks back and realized I'm gone.

I feel like this world is really an illusion. Happiness? Define it. How does one find it? How do you define your happiness? I'm defining my happiness in showing the people around me that I love them. What's the 1st thing I'm gonna do when I grad? I'm gonna give my dad , my grandma and my mum a kiss and a hug, and tell them how much I love them, not because I miss them, but more to knowing I should start treasuring those around me more. Then I'll hug my sister and brother, cuz to me I've always seen them as little tots in my eyes since I'm the oldest, and there's none else whom I care more for.

As for a girlfriend. We will wait for it. Was watching this show called Click. When it came to this touching scene of the dad who wasted all his time on work 1st, family last. Came the time when the angel of death claims him, he realized the time he has wasted but it was too late. I used to get the sad feeling, start sobbing and think of my grandfather. I was in school at the time he passed away. I wasn't even there to bid him goodbye.

I was too late. I'm sorry.

When I wanted to ask Cindy something.

I was late. I'm sorry for making you wait that time.

But now when I watch the show, I get this double feeling. the left side of my tells me he deserve it for wasting so much precious time. The right side of me laments for the poor soul. The result? A headache due to conflicting feedback at the same time.

I don't wish to be too late again.

I treated Yang yang to dinner at Cafe Nocturno 2 days ago. Convinced her that Italian food was great. But then when she started eating, I saw a striking resemblance to my 1st girlfriend. People say the 1st love hurts the most. But I tell you this, its also where u love the most. Both "love" to cover their face up, both are so damn shy. It's not lovable, but more to irritating type of covering. You don't listen to what others have to say. Cancerians. I've been hurt enough by them.

"I like you. Do you like me? Well, I like another guy. But I could try loving you."
"I don't think we can be together, I still prefer the other guy, let's break up. Be friends? Ok."
"U feeling down? I promised I'll be there for you, so here I am."
"I think I'm starting to like you now."
"Oh Ok. But I've given up on you."
("I'm not there for you because you need help. I was there for you because I thought you had decided to give us the chance to be together again, but alas, when you told me that you are beginning to like me, I knew it was just another cycle. I could just be dropped again when another cute guy drops by, or u think that you have the chance with the other guy. " I'm just disappointed that through the times spent when you were down, I was just another guy to u.)

My neighbor was telling me that she thinks that I'm a romantic dude. So I asked her why. She comments that I have the chocolates, cherries etc; stuff in my room to show. So I just nodded. But well...I think that currently I'm still too sick to go think about a female companion like what my grandma suggested. She highlighted not to look for any angmohs, hongkongers or cantonese girls. Think it must be the number of pics I took with guys that I sent to my dad, and my dad showed her.